Do you feel guilt easily, EoFF?
When I was a young child, I felt guilt almost constantly. I'd feel guilty about the things I'd think, and I'd blurt them out, and they'd something be hurtful and cause me even more guilt. It made me so miserable for a number of years.
Now, I never seem to sweat the big things, but I feel extreme guilt about small mistakes. For example, my phone bill. My phone has a touch screen with auto-lock, but it's a bit temperamental and I have a million things jostling about in my pocketbook, so sometimes it'll get unlocked and will do a bit of butt dialing, though instead of dialing numbers, it likes to go online. I guess, doing this, it must have accidentally subscribed to some small thing or two, because the next bill was $10 more than usual, though at the time I wasn't aware of the accidental subscriptions. My Mom was a little annoyed until she discovered it was a mistake, and she just told me to be more careful.
Now, today, I got my new bill for the month, and it was still a few extra dollars in charges - and I finally discovered and canceled the subscriptions. I only owe $5 to my Mom for the extra charges, and it's nothing she'd even bring up, but I feel so guilty it's driving me crazy. I want to shake her awake and confess and give her money until she forgives me.
Yet, big things, I feel no guilt over. Just small things, and weird things like laughing at photos of people who are smiling - no matter how goofy the photo is, if they're smiling genuinely, I feel so guilty that I could cry if I laugh. I guess I'm just weird.![]()