Name That Drunk Moment/s

[Rodarian]

Ok some of you kids are minors, but if you do have drunk -like story, put it on! This topc was inspired after watching Hangover..A classic I tell ya!


Two years back, a bunch of mates and I drank two crates of Hienekiens and a Bottle of Black label....

This what happened

A friend jumped over a side of building. (he actually landed on a ledge with no major injuries

Fed a friends dog alcohol (in ten mins that dog was lying wasted)

Pissed on everything, including people..

Sang the wheels on the bus

Bit some of my friends jugular and vice versa..... (I still do time to time )

Lapped Dance and vice versa

and more but can't remember all of it....



Now your turn....

[Psychotic]

My favourite thing I ever did when I was drunk was when I was 17/18 back in college. I remember me and my friend just screaming abuse at squirrels in this graveyard and we got some really dirty looks.

I don't really drink that much anymore so I haven't done anything like that lately.

[rubah]

My favorite drinking story doesn't actually have to do with me.

It was Hsu's birthday party and we and our friends were having a party in celebration at one of our friend's sister's houses (no need for RA intervention then!)

Anyways, of course all everyone was doing was drinking, but at one point many of us were sitting on the couch in the living room doing something. The sister had two dogs who were pretty hilarious, and well, one of them had jumped up on the couch and we were petting it and laughing, and she goes over to stu and starts humping his leg.

It's pretty amazing, tbh. I got a picture. I can't remember where exactly it is, though!

As for drinking stories starring yours truly, well, I don't think there have been any funny ones. I tend to be the boring one who hardly drinks xD
I had fun the night we ah, smoked some forbidden greenery, going back to #eoff and chatting to neel about it xD

Ah! Found it!

as you can see, she was moving quite fast.

[blackmage_nuke]

I was at a party, we all got drunk, told everyone we loved them, then we all fell asleep.

Yea were boring.

[Denmark]

Upon leaving a bar I threw up outside 24 hour Dunkin' Donuts before going in and getting a donut.

Recently.

[themagicroundabout]

My favourite story was about spending a night in the police station and having to go to school the next day. I wish I had a copy of the mugshot they took. ah. haha.

Plenty of dumb stuff happens, but I think that was the most wacky thing that happened. uh. yeah. :-x

And skateboarding, with nought but a sock on. Oh and, after a party at a friend's house, walking 4 miles to the nearest shop, through fields, with a trusty companion, to fall asleep outside a Spar and wait until it opened to buy a sandwich. ...Then we walked back. (It wasn't my idea; these things never are).

[Shoeberto]

Anyways, of course all everyone was doing was drinking, but at one point many of us were sitting on the couch in the living room doing something. The sister had two dogs who were pretty hilarious, and well, one of them had jumped up on the couch and we were petting it and laughing, and she goes over to stu and starts humping his leg.

It was actually my arm, and the most amazing part of it - to me, anyways - was the fact that it jumped up and caught my arm (or, I guess you might say, delicately embraced it) right as I was swinging it out in the midst of explaining something with my hands.

If not for it being a dog, and me being intoxicated (which meant it was taking advantage of me), I would almost think it romantic!

[Rye]

My favourite thing I ever did when I was drunk was when I was 17/18 back in college. I remember me and my friend just screaming abuse at squirrels in this graveyard and we got some really dirty looks.

I don't really drink that much anymore so I haven't done anything like that lately.

I prefer the story of your friend doing the Nigel Thornberry accent tbqf.

I don't have many hilarious drunk stories. Truthfully, it takes a looot to get me drunk. One time though I didn't eat a lot all day, and we played a drinking game with vodka where I downed a ton of vodka in a matter of minutes, and I got sorta drunk.

My friends were cruel to me that night though, and I ended up falling in the snow sobbing while kind of spooning the ice. I tend to find that one of the funnier drunk stories I have, because I think it's kind of hilarious to picture me sobbing in snow trying to cuddle, but I guess others would feel bad for me more than laugh!

The only other thing that I can think of is the fact that when I get drunk, my accent reaches this like, this new level of New York-ness, like Super Saiyan, and I end up sounding like The Nanny. I love it.

EDIT: Oh, one time I had to bring my very very drunk ex-friend back to my dorm to sleep because she wouldn't have made it to her dorm on the first night back from Christmas break, and she was hilarious. I tried to bring her home and she was like, talking slowly, stumbling over and pulling on her clothes slowly "No... wait... I need my gloves... they keep my hands... warm." Then she reaches for her hat. "No... I need my hat... it keeps my head... warm", pulling it on slowly.

Then I had to help her get into some PJs, and even though she was wasted, she saw my asian themed pants (she's asian and she mocks me weeaboo tendancies) and she said "... Oh, Jess, you WOULD."

[Dolentrean]

My friends enjoy attepting to bite me while drunk. Also, my friend, a notorious lightweight, got drunk to the point he started licking crushed popcorn off the floor...

[Sephex]

Here's a story that I find to be pretty funny and pathetic. A year or so ago, my then girlfriend (Anna), her brother (Adam), her brother’s girlfriend (Trina), and I had her parent’s house to ourselves. That night we all decided to just chill and have a drink. For the record, her parent’s don’t care if any of us drink, so it wasn’t because they were out of town that we decided to have a few. It’s just that we can’t exactly drink while they are home because we don’t want to be obnoxious morons.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I decide to start out with some Vodka mixes, and all of a sudden her brother shows up and says I need to try a shot of rum (don’t remember what kind it was, but he was making a big deal out of it). After I tried that, I had a shot of another Rum brand he wanted me to try…and another…and another…. I think you get the point. I was actually just normally drunk, but that’s where I should have stopped.

Then I get into a conversation with Trina about drinking in general when all of a sudden she claims that I can’t “drink with the big boys”. She was being sarcastic, but I took it very seriously and told her I would match whatever the hell she drank for the rest of the night.

At the time I didn’t know this going into the situation: Trina is 20 years old. She’s been drinking heavy since a young age very often. Although I have been told my tolerance is well above average, I had no idea what kind of beast I was going up against. Well, a cheating beast because she had a chaser after every drink, and I did not. On top of that, I already had a lot of alcohol in my system. It didn’t matter anyway because we didn’t keep track of anything because we were just drinking every alcoholic beverage in sight.

Anyway, the second sign that I should have stopped was that I screamed to my girlfriend in the kitchen, “I’M GOING TO RAPE YOU TONIGHT!!” Which Trina replied with something along the lines of, “Justin, what the f*** is wrong with you? Don’t say things like that!” My girlfriend explained that I was kidding. I then realize that I had a very understanding girlfriend.

This is where my memory starts to fade. We decide to go outside and relax when I remember what happened the previous week when her parent’s were also out of town for some other reason. Some 17 or 18 year old kid across the street stole their mother’s car. Long story short, when Adam was home alone, the kid asked if he could use the phone and stole the keys to the car and drove off while Adam was occupied with something else. He called the cops, and the situation was resolved within the hour. The kid was supposedly visiting a relative.

Well, Adam told me when I got outside that the real story was the kid stole the car to make a drug run or something like that. This really set me off. I am not a fighter, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I screamed something about tearing his throat out and I go to walk across the street to beat the crap out of this kid. Anna wouldn’t have it and threw me down on the front lawn. I don’t remember any of this really, but I got up countless times and she just kept on throwing me back down to the ground. Keep in mind that she wasn’t being gentle because she was pissed off at me by this point.

Adam asked if I were afraid of the cops catching me if they let me go beat up the kid. For this next part, keep in mind the town I was in is called Evergreen Park. I screamed something like, “Hell no! I’m not afraid of the Evergreen Park cops! F***ING EVERGREEN PORK COPS! EVERRRRGREEEEENNN POOORRRKKKKKK!! This supposedly went on for a while and the only way they could shut me up was to tell me that a baby was trying to sleep next door.

When I got back inside Anna served me a small oven pizza. I remember that. I don’t remember what I am about to say, and I am glad. Not too long after eating, I threw up my weight in alcohol and pizza, according to Anna.

When my memory returned it was when I woke up lying next to Anna in her parent’s bed. It was six in the morning…AND I WAS STILL F***ING DRUNK (I believe that we started to drink around 8 or 9p.m.). I nearly started to cry out of frustration and I was severely dehydrated. I find a bottle of water lying next to me. Right when I start to drink it, I spit it out everywhere because I remembered that Anna told me her father has some scotch before he goes to bed on most nights, and I was paranoid that the bottle had scotch in it.

When I woke up for real, I was 100% fine. I was alone, and go find Anna. I say good morning. And the first thing she says is, “You didn’t keep your word.” I thought she was going to give me s*** for getting so hammered (even though I made no such promise), but she said, “You didn’t rape me last night.”

[Heath]

I don't like drinking to get drunk but on my birthday this year my friend's got me hideously drunk and I made a speech that lasted for about forty minutes that I was constantly starting over and over again because people were interrupting. Then I started shouting in German, called people whores for going under the table to cut the cake when I was talking, asked my friend Cat why she was wearing odd socks and made a complete fool out of myself. It was not pretty. I don't think it was terribly gallant of them to pour absinthe down my throat or set up drinking games set up purely so I would have to drink to each item. "I have never been called Tom." Bah.

[The Space Pope]

I got drunk with this homeless guy in Florida once and we fell asleep near a pier. I woke up to him urinating on me. No I'm actually being serious.

[Darkswordofchaos]

well at my seinor week at myrtle beach a few days after graduation me and a few of my freinds got wasted. our older friend had turned 21 that day and went and bought 300$ worth of liqour and spirits and told us drink whatever we wanted.

Well i drank a whole fith of jagermeister and got wasted bad.

a few highlights of the night

-puking of the hotel balcony onto someones cadalac
-deciding to go to the strip club and all i remeber of the trip there is seeing the road the whol time cause i was puking out the window the whole time
-almost accadently walked into the stripper changing room trying to get service on my selphone.
-I dropped my motorcycle key and luckily my friend saw it on the floor.
-at around 3am we realized our older friend who drove us to the strip club was no longer there so we stumbled out to find a taxi
-in the morning i relized that i had spent 150 some dollars on those strippers and had to borrow 10 bucks from my cuz for gas to get home.

ahhh good times

[I Took the Red Pill]

One time I came back to my dorm room absolutely smurfing hammered. I woke up the next day and thought everything was perfectly normal, til my roommate saw that I was awake and said

"Do you remember anything from last night?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"You don't remember pissing all over the floor?"
"What the smurf are you talking about?"

At this point I look over onto the floor and see a mass of yellow paper towels lying on the floor where my puddle of urine had previously been.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell happened?"
"I heard a noise last night; a noise I quickly identified as someone pissing. I figured you were hammered and that you were pissing in the garbage can, and I thought 'Whatever, at least he made it to the garbage can'. All of a sudden something slammed into me as I was trying to sleep. I sat up and turned around. There you were, with only your boxers on (which were soaked in piss, apparently you didn't even have the foresight to take your boxers off), standing over a puddle of piss that had apparently soaked through your backpack (which you pissed directly on) and onto the floor, trying to climb into my bed. 'Keith, this is my bed', I said. You looked at me like you were shocked that I was there and said "Oh, really?" You then proceeded to go over to my desk and take my laptop. I said 'Keith, that is my laptop'. Once again, you seemed astonished at the fact that I was in the room and walked away. You then stood at the corner of my bed for a solid half minute, just standing there, swaying and staring off into space. I thought you were going to do something, but eventually you just turned back around, looked at me, and asked me where the "smurfing Donkey Bags are". I told you I had no idea what you were talking about. After you tried to get into my bed one more time, you made it back to your own bed and immediately passed the smurf out."

I'm convinced that this is due, at least in part, to sleepwalking. I don't think that I could've been so drunk that I forgot where my bed was numerous times, and "Donkey Bags" sounds like something out of a dream. Either way, it makes for a good story and I'm sticking to the assertion that I was sleepwalking (albeit drunken, sloshed sleepwalking). Oh and my backpack had school stuff that I needed in it and was ruined by the piss.

Fin.

There was also the time I went with to Niagara while pledging my fraternity for our "pledge class trip". We were pre-gaming in the hotel room we had, and only had 20 minutes to drink whatever we were going to drink because everyone wanted to go out to the clubs and whatnot. I ended up drinking over a third of a bottle of vodka before even leaving the motel. This is where memory starts to fade. I very vaguely remember going into a club and drinking more (I later found out that I ordered three tequila slammers and three gin and tonics at the first bar we went to). We went to some other bars but I don't remember that either. Apparently (and I say that because at this point I have no memory of the night), a couple of guys and I went to a smoke shop, where I purchased a bong and went in with some of the other guys on some 80x Salvia Divinorum. I don't know how I had the motor skills to walk into the store, tell them what I wanted, and pay for it, but I consider it nothing short of a miracle. Next we went back to the hotel room to hit the Salvia, with me of course insisting that I take the first rip. Apparently I cashed the bowl, and after exhaling dropped to the floor and started writhing around on the ground. Someone tried to lift me onto the bed but I just ended up donkey kicking them in the chest. I woke up the next morning feeling slightly drowsy, but with no headache or other usual signs of hangover.

[Darkswordofchaos]

you sound like some of my friends i took the red pill.