I don't like drinking to get drunk but on my birthday this year my friend's got me hideously drunk and I made a speech that lasted for about forty minutes that I was constantly starting over and over again because people were interrupting. Then I started shouting in German, called people whores for going under the table to cut the cake when I was talking, asked my friend Cat why she was wearing odd socks and made a complete fool out of myself. It was not pretty. I don't think it was terribly gallant of them to pour absinthe down my throat or set up drinking games set up purely so I would have to drink to each item. "I have never been called Tom." Bah.