We Were Young Once

[Madonna]

Some of you still are, but you do not matter in this thread! Neither do the senior citizens, actually, but I just want to make sure you kids know someone is waving a stick and keeping you off the lawn! But this is not about stick-waving or ragamuffins causing ruckuses which raise the dead; no, most insistently this is about my being able to make cooler threads than the younger generation! You kids are so intrinsically woven into the Internet that you cannot even imagine a world where you cannot order pizza electronically! I remember sending carrier-pigeons to Pizza Hut back when they had only one and it was a real darn tooting hut! You probably do not even know half of what I am saying, since I have not contracted every other word and replaced words with slang web gibberish! I would go more on this vein, but I get tired easily; remember you are getting off easy this time!

Where was I? Oh right, threads and how we made them better! We did; arguments to the contrary are not welcomed because they would be wrong! But our thread quality was not because we were old, because, no, we were young at the time, and our backs had not quite given out! I recall the days when I could post three threads in a hour and get fifteen replies by the time I checked back after a nap! Three threads and fifteen replies probably does not sound like much now, but back then, our Internet connections were so slow, an Atari could show it who was boss! Now, back to why our threads were great! Uh, why?!

Why!?

I am asking you this question! Often do I get to hear grumblings that our time was so great, we were so funny, and Eyes on Final Fantasy was so interesting back in our memories! Yeah, can you codgers tell me the reasons?! Do you have a list about what was so cool!? I might admit fora might move at a snail's pace these days, but while these kids nowadays have a lot of gumption best beat out of them, far am I from heaping the blame upon them! If we were so wonderful back then, why have we long-timers failed to keep things going now?! I think someone needs to give these hellions some direction and teach them how a thread is made! So I want to see some fogies posting some better threads than these damn kids and the latter show how mature they are and how I have misjudged them!

Now I got a glass of prune juice calling my name, so if you will excuse me!