There once was a jolly young Swede
Who had become very lost indeed
Then he won at tic-tac-toe
And found out where to go
And he was so happy that he peed.

There once was an undead hero
Who had become a bit of a zero
He told Rantz the wrong way
He caught a cold yesterday
But at least he fared better than Jiro.

There once was a girl called Jess*
Who helped the boys out of a mess
She told them "Go east
To find the ravenous beast"
And she was right...more or less.

Jess as in Jessweeee♪ not Jess or Rye or Jessica_wohoo or any other girl bearing that dreadful name.