My religion is the only true religion, and as Pope, I feel the need to tell everyone that none of you will ever see Heaven no matter how hard you pray or how good a person you are.
But for the low low price of $1,995.95, you, yes YOU can reserve a spot in the kingdom of eternal happiness! Worried about whether your money will actually be well spent beyond the grave? No matter, you'll be dead and won't be able to sue!
..I mean, uhhhm
DO IT
