WHY?!
So, even though I spent forever giving my self-Sim a
really cute nursery
, I was like
smurf this.
So I left them on MILF's doorstep...
...and walked my ass back home.
So then I picked a new name out of The Hat to play for this time and...
I'm My Own MILF
smurf. This game is out to get me.
Yes, this seriously was not on purpose.
First thing that happens is Rye calls him up.
Rye:
Uhm, hey, did you know you have a giant larvae infestation in your yard?
Meanwhile, Marshall Banana is taking over.
Aww, that's much better than
the last time he was allowed around one of my babies (who was also scrumpleberry, fyi).
He also is not a bright fellow.
MILF, if your dong is too short to reach the toilet from there, just sit down.
Oh, and then something awesome happened.
MILF got stuck in the fridge.
I could not get him out.
As his babymomma, I made myself active.
I was at Jessweeee and Mogi's, apparently.
Me:
My babydaddy, he crazy. I got go.
I went home, invited MILF over, he said yes, and then...
Fuuuu-- Can't get his own ass out of the fridge.
I went over there but he was still stuck.
I could hear him screaming from the fridge every time I rang the doorbell.
I fixed it by moving him and the twins into my house and then back again.
I had MILF quit his job at the cemetery to start on his career as a writer.
Unfortunately, he spends more time
pretending to write and instead starring at the wallpaper of his mancrush.
Much like real life, I'm sure.
Cute daddy time!
This is Shluplette, who I mentioned in the last episode
was named Rita, but smurf that.
Her sister is Quacklorina.
Haha, balls.
Raising twins is a bitch so MILF called a sitter and I sent him out.
smurfing ingrate.
He, of his own accord, decided to sit down with Flying Mullet for a game of chess.
He's already turning into one of those parents that doesn't shut the smurf up about his kids.
MILF:
Shluplette has really taken to the bottle just fine, but Quacklorina struggles with the girth of the nipple. It would really
be a lot easier if I could just grow a nice set of breasts like their mother's.
Hey, how's that novel going, hmm?
Bah, never a moment of peace!
Jesus Christ, don't puke on the baby!!
He seriously gagged like he was going to puke on the baby.
WTF.
Aww, awwwwwwww.
This is like porn to me. Men holding babys, UNF.
...Wait, don't call the cops, that's totally a legit thing to say.
Right?
Ah, feck. Et tu, Shluplette?
P.S. Why the smurf does scrumps insist on wearing this 24/7 now?
This is awful. The outfit I made for her is cute.
smurf you, scumpleberry!
LOLOLOL
Congrats, I Don't Need a Name, you're a big brother.
Anyway.
Yes, this. No more larvae!
This is how I spent my first birthday too.
Pop! Super cute!
Such good parenting examples.
MILF:
You're a big girl now, I am done
lugging your ass around!
'Cause they're twins, yo.
Renesmee??
Eww, redneck baby.
BABY MAKEOVERS!
SUPER CUTE!
They take after their father in a lot of ways.
Okay, yes, lawl, but wait for it...
*dead*
This is my lolling.
Quacklorina
Shluplette
I knew sk was into bad boys.
P.S. Remember she is his boss. Scandal!
Daddy, how can you resist that face?
Oh,
that's why you ate the last one.
This is me in like three years. Except with boobs.
Shluplette:
This... is the greatest thing I have ever seen in this whole house.
Shluplette: *nom*
Okay, enough of this daddy
. Everyone else is out bouncing around like bunnies with the wrong people--let's call Rye.
Ohohoho, but she calls him first. To help him with his career. Soulmates much?
MILF:
Hey bb, you want 2 go out?
Rye:
Sry, so busy!
Oh, hey, where the smurf is she going!
MILF: *stalks*
MILF: *stalks more better*
Bah, going into the bookstore. As usual. Gorramit.
Mogi will keep MILF company while he stalks.
Dammit, Lekaka, usurp the bastard!
Looks like being around Marshall leveled him up.
This isn't creepy at all. Really.
This is though.
Not a snack, demondude, not a snack.
P.S. Every time I see this dude lately he's all army'd up.
The town thug sports pink scrubs and can often be found trailing behind the large black man in the magenta thong.
Repeal Prop 8!
Shoeberto has arrived!
Why the smurf does he look like a curious pixie? Is he on meth?
Oo, he found something to be
bi curious about!
I know you were desperate for a friend, Markus, but this was a bad choice.
Run, Laddy's mom! Protect your uterus!
Meanwhile, back at home, MILF is fantasizing about the toilet paper.
Where is your other hand??
Next day's Rye-stalking started out a bit better.
Though MILF didn't seem to agree.
Finally! Even scrumps is releived, in her ugly yellow hat.
Across the intersection, DP contemplates ending it all.
And back to where we were, scrumpleberry is fighting with a little girl over hot dogs.
MILF learns that Rye is single.
And I learn that Marshall and pregnancy do not mix.
Wow.
But things are going well.
For now.
DUN DUN DUN.
Originally Posted by Psychotic
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