Originally Posted by
Noctiluca
After hearing the song She Wolf, Spirit Bear convinced himself his one chance at happiness was a singer from Mexico, or some other foreign country nobody cares about, he wasn't sure. With much conversation and many jovial laughs, Shakira, in she wolf form, finally touched the Spirit Bear. The supernatural collision of love with a woman who bends in ridiculous ways overwhelmed Spirit Bear with contentment.
That is, until he listened to the song a little closer and realized Shakira keeps she wolves in the closet. He immediately called PETA and informed them of her animal abuse. A squad team crashed through the ceiling and shot her to death.
He was again alone and sad. But then he came across a stupid couple. A dark yet twinkling sense of humor, he decided to haunt this couple. Unfortunately, they videotaped his fun exploits and a subsequent movie named Paranormal Activity went on to make $97,628,727. Depressed that he was not in the movie's end credits, he killed himself. The suicide of a spirit was an unnatural and new action. It caused a a crazy universe swirl and a new timeline where Jews never existed and thus no wars ever happened. The world was at peace.
But Spirit Bear never knew of his effects on the universe for he was dead. Twice.
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