EoFF Dwarf Fortress Time!

[Psychotic]

I decided to play Adventure Mode in the World of EoFF, starting out from Vucar Bab, our Civilization's capital. Not knowing what I was doing because I had never played Adventure mode, I smashed a small child with my war hammer and was promptly accosted by an army of children, milkers, cheese makers and peasants. You'll be pleased to know I killed the lot of 'em, and this means there'll be less for Towntwinkles! I also gouged out the eyes of several children and left them wandering about the corpse pile, blind. Hey, they attacked me first!

Then I ended up in a Goblin Tower - a really godawful maze - and met a Demon in there. The Demon's name was, get this, The Ghoul of Responsibility. What the smurf kind of name is that? It asked me to kill a Bronze Colossus for it. Okay, fair enough, I suppose that would be a pretty responsible thing to do. So I asked it about the surroundings so I might know more about where to find this Colossus. "To the north, there is a place of great Evil" said the Demon. Awesome, I think. "There are..." and it leans in to whisper to me "Dark Gnomes there! Terrifying!" Dark Gnomes. Dark mothersmurfing Gnomes. I don't know if any of you have come across them in your fortresses but I have, and I assure you that a Kobold could easily take a smurfing Dark Gnome. What kind of pussy ass Demon is this Ghoul of Responsibility? I decided I would kill it and bashed it repeatedly with my hammer. I managed to cause a minor bruise to one of its arms before it incinerated me. Apparently my body (I presume my ashes) were then impaled on an iron spear to serve as a warning.

[Loony BoB]

I once tried Adventure mode. I started underground in a large hall where goblins were fighting with dwarves. Needless to say, I went for a goblin to kill it. And got slaughtered. Oops.

[Psychotic]

Whoa you must've spawned in the middle of a war. That's pretty awesome and lucky.

Speaking of wars, right now I am making a mod for DF to make combat tougher. Making Goblins tougher and more numerous, as well as having more friends along for the ride (eg giant spiders and putting the goblins in caves so they will be more likely to bring trolls) when they show up. I also added a race of Frost Trolls, which are basically Frost Giants from other mods but Trolls are easier to sprite. Finally, I added Balrogs (see: Gandalf) as a megabeast and I made all megabeasts a hell of a lot tougher.

I will make 300-style fort. Never retreat! Never surrender! Death and glory to the Dwarves!

EDIT: Oh, and I removed all smurfing pets apart from dogs. Seriously, smurf pets.

[Dignified Pauper]

Psy, why mod when you can just add the mod for orcs, which are way worse than gobbos could ever hope to be.

[Psychotic]

Just for you I'll rename the goblins in what I've done to Orcs. But Rysith's Orc mod (to which I assume you refer) is basically ridiculous! I don't want hundreds of the smurfers showing up in year one.

[Dignified Pauper]

Why not? It is a real challenge. And if those damn dwarfs can't handle it, then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Further:

DimDums or DwarfBucks.

You people never decided on a currency. Also, any new game, turn the economy back on. Keep in mind, you don't need to smelt coins. Dwarves are surprisingly good with credit.

[Psychotic]

It is a "hide behind walls until you have thirty steel-plated champions" challenge. I want to go out and fight right from the start with crappy copper (or whatever I can find) armour and have it be an epic battle.

DwarfBucks I guess. Although you've been spending way too much time at Bay12 young man.

Economy is lame. I am not turfing all of my Dwarfs out of the homes I spent so long building.

[Rye]

Ahhh, I need to update soon!

[Dignified Pauper]

I would. I like poverty. It makes me richer.

[Psychotic]

Haha, good point.

My mod is smurfing insane. I have only had one migrant wave and three sieges, two Orc and one Frost Troll. The first and second sieges are interesting combats, but I will talk about the third while we wait for Jess to get off her big Italian ass to update. (ilu really Jess!)

The third siege had 32 orcs (consider that I had 26 Dwarves total at the time, reduced to a military of 6 thanks to a few losses) and featured two squads led by an Elite Bowman and a Hammer Lord.

Let's take a look at my outer defences.



The three towers are taller than this but I've gone down some levels so you can see. Essentially the tower in the middle is my trade depot, the tower on the right is my fortress entrance and on the left is there just to keep my foes in one place. The bridges both retract, meaning I can seperate my trade depot from the outside world and still be able to access it from my fortress, and the bridge on the right is in case the trade depot is breached. Above it we have the Marksdwarf catwalk (and the entrance to it is completely seperate from the fortress entrance in case of breaches) and they can pump bolts into the two right hand towers from above if needs be.

Squad 1 shows up first with the Elite Bowman, and I know I cannot possibly hope to take that asshole. So I iniate Plan: Elven Destruction, and drop the bridge out from under them as they duel the human guards on it, causing them all to drop into the pit I dug for Elves. All the humans on the bridge were killed in the fall and the Orcs that went in were crippled, but as they feel no pain or fear it didn't stop them. What did stop them, however, was a Human Bowman (or bow-woman, actually, named Emeg Pishuhnil) who was still in the depot and merrily fired arrows into the pit that the crippled orcs were crawling their way out of, backed up by my Marksdwarves, Pikachu and Jolteon. (oh yeah, this is a Pokemon themed fort. RIP Psyduck and Charmander )

The Elite Bowman chose not to cross the bridge, however, and held some forces in reserve. So I lowered the bridge, daring him to cross. This knocked poor Emeg off the tower and onto the ground (thankfully not into the pit, she landed just next to it) breaking her leg. An Orc Axeman bore down on her to get the killing blow but despite her wounds, she took him down. Then the Bowman decided he wanted to kill her point blank and marched down there with what remained of his squad and did so, Emeg dying with an impressive seven kills. This distraction allowed my Marksdwarves to eliminate the Elite Bowman and the rest of his boys.

With him down I was prepared to lower the bridge to the Trade Depot and send in my four Wrestlers, Ponyta, Vulpix, Squirtle and Shellder. They have no weapons or armour because right now I am too smurfing poor to make any. (although with this siege, I think I have a lot of smelting to be doing) and at this point, the Human Guild Leader decides this is a great time to leave the fortress, and I hold my breath as the Hammer Lord's squad closes in, but luckily the Guild Leader got away. I couldn't cope with the Humans joining in on the sieging fun.

This time I know I cannot drop the bridge as my four boys are already on it. The Hammer Lord charges across, alone, presumably because he is that much faster than his squad. This is pleasing as he is out-numbered and gets taken down quickly. However, the tide soon turns as his squad of Spearorcs and Axeorcs come pouring across the bridge, and now it is the Dwarves who are out-numbered.

The numbers game causes all four of my wrestlers to go into a Martial Trance, and they charge across the bridge, not stopping as they throw Orcs off it left and right, and I am in awe as the siege is lifted.

Amazed I had 0 losses in this one, as I had lost Dwarves to lesser forces. I think I was largely helped by using the humans as a meatshield, and the heroism of Emeg.

[Aerith's Knight]

Oooooh, I wanna play. :P

1st post is not really all that clear, so where might one download this?

[Marshall Banana]

Oh, I didn't think to link it!

Bay 12 Games: Dwarf Fortress

[Aerith's Knight]

Thanks! I still don't really understand how this EoFF thing works, but I'll get it after I read more. :P

[demondude]

I visit the thread for the first time in weeks to find this:

But I didn't kill anyone on purpose, except Demon Dude, and he was stark raving mad at the time!

What have I missed?