Summer, 21

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5th Hematite



Weeeee are the Chaaaampions, maaah frieeeeends. Now my squad is more powerful than that lunatic ShlupQuack's, even if that toad theundeadhero became a Champion too. The tide has turned.

I am also informed by Demon Dude that the insane Chloe. has taken refuge inside a Glass Furnace.
"What, she's melting herself into glass?" I asked. Nothing surprises me these days.
"I don't know. I'm just the planter. Would you like a plant?" smurfing yokels.

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19th Hematite



Christmas, our Mechanic, has been working hard to try to recover our Battle Axe that was dropped in the moat. This is a picture of her designs.

The axe was at the bottom of the lake, and so the floodgate on the left would be activated, causing the water to flow - and pushing the axe with the pressure - into that central chamber. That floodgate would be closed, and the one on the right would be opened, causing the water to flow out of it. The axe wouldn't follow, as it would be caught on the grate, thus allowing safe retrieval.

We were all very excited about this marvel of engineering and gathered around to watch. The machinery worked just fine, however, the axe was too heavy and the only thing we got back from that dead guy was a sock. A single smurfing sock. Why is everyone here such an idiot?

I'm writing the axe off as lost.

---

7th Malachite



We were expecting migrants from my father's palace, the mountainhome. And yet we received word that none had come.

"They've evidently heard about all the murders you've committed", smirked Necronopticous.
"Oh smurf off", I said to him. "We all know you're the murdering scumbag around here. You're lucky I don't ram this axe into your spinal column."
"Well, sure, we know it. But suppose that someone had sent word to your father that you were the one to kill those merchants". A shiver ran up my spine.
"You smurfing didn't." He grinned at me again, that smug son of a bitch. "No-one would believe you anyway."
"Wouldn't they? After all, didn't everyone believe your merchant friends had started new lives here, and were living happily until you showed up?" smurf. He had me there. I wanted to rip his head off then and there. The problem is, he's too valuable to this fortress alive. He's a Legendary Record Keeper. Without him, we'd be in deep smurfing trouble and have no way of managing our stocks.

I hate this conniving asshole. I'll find another way to hit him where it hurts.

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21st Malachite



scrumpleberry came to the barracks to get me today. "It's disgusting. They're animals. You're in charge, do something about it." I had no idea what the smurf she was talking about, and told her as much, and she wordlessly led me to our brand new dining hall, which was nearing completion.



It seemed that Chloe.'s body couldn't handle the fey spirits that had possessed her and she had totally snapped. She began wandering around babbling to herself, stripping off all of her clothes one by one. She's marked as the blue ! on this picture, diary, and you can see her clothes strewn above her. Oh, and you can also see how the dining hall is coming on. Yes, those statues are arranged in the shape of a P!

Naturally this set the other Dwarves into a frenzy. Tavrobel was drooling. Agent Proto had thrust his hand down his +pig tail trousers+. Hell, Dignified Pauper had already started on an engraving.

I just walked away. I'm simply not dealing with the insanity of this place anymore.

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19th Galena



Another Werewolf attacked today. Momiji the woodcutter, the only one of us who actually enjoys going outside, was the first to spot him. ShlupQuack tried to question my bravery. smurf that. I led the charge against it, with her, theundeadhero and Jessweeeee in tow. The four of us jumped the werewolf and beat the crap out of it. Jessweeeee was the one to get the kill eventually. I am proud that it was one of my squad. Take that, blondey!

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27th Galena

As Summer draws to a close, two of my projects have been completed.



I have created a totally new food complex here. Truly it was an effort by all Dwarves. Masons Rye and Noctiluca made the chairs, tables and statues; Farmers I Took The Red Pill and Moon Rabbits started the new farms next door, Engravers Sir Lancealot, scrumpleberry and Dignified Pauper decorated the walls, and Marshall Banana made the still and kitchen next door.

Our previous food production areas were too spread out for my tastes, so I have centralised them.



Loony BoB and his mining team worked hard to channel the magma to our new furnaces area. I am delighted to say it was a success. Those Steel Anvils Necronopticous stole are sure coming in handy!

Here we can see Agent Proto and Værn smelting copper and tetrahedrite, while Levian makes some copper armor. It isn't as good as steel or iron, but we don't have any of that yet. It'll have to do.

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Summer was an extremely slow season. I mean, this update is half the length of the last two, and yet they each took place in half the time this one did! So here's some updates on individual Dwarves. Namely the people who replied to this thread since the last update, and Dan because he seems interested!











Rye is Tavrobel's lover! Ha ha ha! Also Dan's Dwarf is a chick but don't blame me, I'm not the one who picked her out as you!