View Poll Results: Where should we move?

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  • Beach

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  • Desert

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  • Evil Forest

    6 37.50%
  • Glacier

    5 31.25%
  • Island

    1 6.25%
  • Mountainside

    2 12.50%
  • Tundra

    1 6.25%
  • Woodland

    1 6.25%
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Thread: EoFF Dwarf Fortress Time!

  1. #166
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Glad I accomplished all my goals and made a death arena to boot I am not so glad that I did not get to test out Necronopticous's Depot death trap. I didn't want to waste it on the Elves and the Dwarves went to the replacement Depot I built (for when the other one collapsed) when I wasn't expecting them to.

    The ambush was a bitch. For those not in the know, Archers and Crossbowmen are by far the worst opponents to face. If any of our future rulers want a tip: Station our military inside the gatehouse and keep them in there when you see Archers and Crossbowmen on the unit list (press u and scroll down, it'll show all invaders and their type) else they will get horrible injuries. Force them to come to you and station the Marksdwarf top on level 2 and they'll hopefully do the business.

    Will see about getting the map file uploaded tomorrow.

    EDIT: Oh yeah and for BoB and any future ruler, hit the h key. It's a list of hotkeys that'll jump you to certain points in the map. So if you're wondering where the furnaces (hit F4) are or the octagon is (F7 I believe) but can't find them, it's as easy as that. Plus they make checking on key areas so much quicker!

  2. #167
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    BooB, you had better not suck.

  3. #168
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    "I just played it: We all died. That was fun!

    Lost the screenshots."

    If you want anything better than that, you do it, Shlup!
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  4. #169
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    I think I'm supposed to be playing another game.

  5. #170
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    "What." My jaw probably couldn't have dropped much lower.
    "You heard me. The King demands you take over. Psy's a nutter. You know this. We all know this. Hell, he spends all his time plotting against ShlupQuack, who by all accounts was his friend, and praising DK, who everyone knows that, deep down, he has a grudge with. Not to mention that he's a stark raving loo--" The messenger quickly thought to change his wording when he saw my ears prick up at that. "...dumbass."
    "Yeah, yeah. But he kept me digging. Digging's as good as I get. You don't want me doing more than that."
    "But you have experience!" replied the messenger, spreading his arms as if they could somehow improve his pleads.
    "You mean..." I was lost for words. Well, I'd forgotten the name. Intentionally.
    "Yes!"
    "THEY ALL DIED. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! THERE WERE CHILDREN!!!"
    "But that's valuable experience, right?"
    I punched him in the nose. Twat. "Fine. Tell the King I'll do it. But if anyone dies, the blood's on his hands, now. Get the hell out of my sight."

    I marched off to find Psychotic. We were only passing aquaintances, and the guy was right, he was a stark raving loo... dumbass. I hear he'd put on his best disguise so as to avoid any punishment, but I knew his game. I read all about it in the papers. Bloody crossdressing cage fighters.

    Goals for my chapters
    • Kill everyone (or, I suppose, do better than... eh, the name eludes me).
    Last edited by Loony BoB; 11-28-2009 at 09:05 AM.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  6. #171
    Gobbledygook! Recognized Member Christmas's Avatar
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    Did BoB just won the whole thread?


  7. #172
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Because of all of the time spent mining out Towntwinkles, BoB's Dwarf is actually ridiculously strong. (seriously, check out his stats!) If he actually punched some guy in the nose he would probably explode his head.

  8. #173
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    The King's messenger had a very tough face. *nod*

    EDIT: I'll put images in spoiler tags so they don't stretch tables by default.

    Later... (I don't know what day it is. I'm a miner. I don't see much sun)
    Status Report

    Psychotic, complete in women's plated armour, was happy to give me a few pointers. Probably even happier that he wasn't in charge, I guess. Anyway, he said it'd all be fine. The place seems to run itself and we can handle about 30 more dwarves without problem! This doesn't sound too bad now, actually. I suppose as long as we don't get more than 30 further dwarves, I should be able to handle this until someone is more willing to take over than I am. With, uh, the King's blessing and all that, I suppose...

    No sooner had I finished talking to Rox-- er, Psy, I was advised by eestlinc that the elves were coming with a load of goods to trade. Excellent! I hope they have children. I've quickly noticed that if there are idlers, chances are one of them will be Necronopticous. What the hell is a Child Predator supposed to do without children to prey on, anyway? Alas, they had none. Just stupid clothes and a few berries. Eh. I'll have to start looking into encouraging baby-making in this place.

    Later...
    Get a Room

    Leeza has as of late been boasting a lot about how she has an office and I don't. I guess that I'm just not used to one, but I suppose if I want to make my position look desirable to some other sucker then I may as well make a nice big office and bedroom for them to look forward to. I arrange for this to be set up right away. The sooner I pass on the job, the better. This should hopefully make someone jealous enough to take it on!

    Here's a picture of that bunnylover Baloki jumping on my bed, which is (obviously enough) in the bedroom which is accessed via my office. CCTV captures everything these days...
    (SPOILER)

    Later...
    But... is it Art?

    Every five seconds or so, Dignified Pauper runs up to me, excited about how Rye or smittenkitten have created a masterpiece. Really. This never ends. I mean, really. With smitten, we're talking about crossbow bolts. Masterpieces? Really? Really?
    (SPOILER)

    Later...
    Woof.

    The war dogs seem to be doing a great job lately. I hear they make some good kills and I decided to stop Sir Lancealot from whatever engraving he was doing to focus more on training more animals. He loves them dogs, he does. While I was talking to him, Leeza popped by to point out that we're low on picks and, with migrants expected to be coming, a Fortress Guard would also need to be armed soon enough. I wasn't really sure about arming up some random people I've never met, but it was a point. It was then that I was told that we, uh, didn't have any method of making weapons at the moment. None. At all. You can guess what my next project was!
    (SPOILER)

    Later...
    DigDug

    With a couple of things out of the way, I felt like I'd done enough to deserve a good digfest. Shiny, Manus, Bunny and myself went crazy with our picks in the ol' mines.
    (SPOILER)
    I do love to dig. Not much came out of this round, aside from many happy faces and about five to ten gems. It was then that I noticed nobody was working these gems, so I grabbed the only half-decent cutter around - Shattered Dreamer. He, like Lance, was spending his time engraving. Seriously man, there's a whole club of them engravers. Oh well, I think Levian is getting moody about not having an office so I suppose they're at least doing something worthwhile. Anyway, Shattered Dreamer got to work on the gems.

    While I was at it, I stopped Tavrobel from doing a little stone detailing of his own and moved him into the stonecrafting business. I figure there are so many damned stones around this place, may as well do something with them them... I got him to work on some rock instruments. Rock! I'm pretty excited about this, as the only music I hear around this place is heavy metal.

    Later...
    The Others

    The next day, it happened. They came. "Just a few" said some bloke called Jiro as he wandered past. Just a few my hairy dwarven arse. 18! 18 of the buggers! Urgh. Just my luck. I spent the entire damned day figuring out what to do with them. Look at 'em flowing over the hill to get to our entrance. It was like they were doing a loop and coming back over again just to take the piss or something, it seemed endless.
    (SPOILER)

    Here's a list of who they were and what they do. Well, what they do now! Like I needed 4-5 more engravers, a couple of leatherworkers and a weaver? Pshaw. We don't need to change our clothes down here. And to top it all off, Psy and DK had finally had enough with each other...
    (SPOILER)
    ...so I had to split them up. Lucky for me, they were both highly competent at what they do, so this at least meant that with the new recruits (heh, bet they weren't expecting that!) that were flowing through my doors would have someone to teach them the ways of the warrior. I asked them their names and professions, and this is how it went.

    "Rocket Edge. Mason."
    "Fine. Whatever. You can cover the shifts of Nocti and Rye."

    "Chemical. Leatherworker."
    "We don't have leather. You can brew our drink. Can never have too much drink. Find Lynx."

    "JKTrix. Mason and engraver. Well, still a novice, bu--"
    "So you're crap. You can play carpenter instead. Cover MILF and Proto. Learn fast. Now bugger off."

    "Jiro. Metalsmith. Furnace Operator. Metal Crafter."
    "Don't need one yet, our furnace operators are always idling anyway. Don't have too much metal, won't waste it on crafting just yet, not even bolts. Say, you ever held a weapon?"
    "Uh... well, yes, but that's not to say I've use--"
    "Good - HEY LEEZA! WE GOT ONE! - Hey, lad, follow this lady. She'll see you right in no time. Don't piss her off, she owns your arse now."
    "But--"
    "NEXT!"

    "Serapy. Uh... Furnace... operator... I'VE NEVER HELD A WEAPON IN MY LIFE!"
    "Ever mined? No? First time for everything. Grab a pick."

    "I'm--" I punched the next one. "Ouch!"
    "You can take a punch. I like that. Welcome to the army. Roxanne, he's all yours."
    "But... I'm an writer!"
    "Less engraving, more weapon waving. Grab a sword."
    "But this guy's wearing makeup!"
    "Yeah, and you're his bitch. NEXT!"

    "Wolf Kanno. Animal Caretaker."
    "Well, we already got a trainer... oh, hey, tell you what, you can hunt. You have wolf in your name! You'll be a natural. Nobody names themselves Wolf Kanno without being a hunter, right?"
    "My parents named me. But I'll do my best.
    "I like the cut of your granite. Get out there."

    "Vivi22, Leatherworker, at your service." "And me! Booga! I'm a peasant!"
    "Okay, you two. Fight each other for your lives and live off each other's meat, or change your jobs to something that'll get me food. Or join the army or the guard or something.
    "Right. Uhm. Vivi22, Farmer, at your service." "Oh, yes, I'm a wonderful guard, I am! Uh, Booga, Fortress Guard, at your service!"
    "That's better. Vivi22, Go ask for Demon Dude, he'll show you the ropes. HEY LEEZA! Ready for more!? Yeah, Booga, go with her."
    "Right!" "Right!"

    "Zeldy! Tanner!"
    "But you don't have a tan."
    "Well, yes, that is, uh, that I tan hides."
    "Your hide is white. You suck at it. Pick. Mines. Go. NEXT!"

    "black orb. Engraver and Mason."
    "Oh, for the love of... Fine, fine, fine. I swear, I'm gonna kill the next guy to say they're an engraver."

    "Fujiko. En... uh... oh, geez."
    "Soldier?"
    "Y... yeah... *sigh* soldier."
    "Good call. Hey, hero. C'mere. Take this lady to Shlup. She's your new squad member."

    "War Angel. I WEAVE!"
    "What kind of smurfed up ty arse weaver calls themselves WAR ANGEL?"
    "I WEAVE!"
    "No, you bloody don't. Not here.
    "I WEAVE!"
    "If I just take these here needles off you... like so... and just... put two swords into your hands instead... like... that, yeah, what do you do then?"
    "I WEAVE!"
    "Yeah, I guess that'll have to do. Look, uh, hey, DK. C'mere. You're new to this leader thing, but uh, if you take this guy off my hands, I'll let you take Jessweee out of Shlup's crew."
    "I WEAVE!"
    "Yeah, he smurfing weaves."

    "Hi. I'm Jess. I'm a milk maiden." Cue the curtsy.
    "I bet you are, love. Live on a farm, did you?"
    "I did indeed!"
    "Good, you're a farmer now. I'm sure there are a few lads around the place that could use a bit of milking on occasion, hur, hur, am I right guys?" A bit of laughter from the crossbowmen on the tower.
    "I don't know what you mean..."
    "You will! NEXT!"

    "Meat Puppet. Butcher."
    "Fitting. Alright, we can use another cook, I guess. Brew a bit too? You better. Find Lynx, he'll see you right."

    "qwertysaur. Peasant."
    "Fortress Guard."
    "Fortress Guard."
    "Good. HEY LEEZA! ANOTHER ONE! Go."

    "Hi. I'm Sagensyg. I'm a Smooth Operator."
    "Siege Operator? Huh. We don't really have anything for that just yet, I guess, but uh, well, we could have you cover mechanics a bit I guess."
    "No," he says, all calm. "You see, I'm a smooth--"
    "We don't want any bloody smoothers or engravers, we have enough, so like I said, mechanics. NEXT!"

    The last guy wanders up. Thank S[fishimage]rek, the Coal of Hearts.
    "... uh... let's see now... I am... the... Duce of Daggers!"
    "We don't have any daggers, mate."
    "No... no daggers?"
    "Nah. Got swords."
    "No daggers. "
    "Swords."
    ""
    "HEY LEEZA!"

    At Ease, Soldiers

    So, the military looks something like this, now...
    (SPOILER)
    and the Fortree Guard consists of Leeza (promoted to Captain of the Guard), Duce of Daggers, qwertysaur, Vivi22 and Jiro. Hopefully they should manage okay. I hear they're gaining experience pretty quick, anyway.

    Later...
    Mouths to Feed

    65 dwarves! A new record for me! Not gonna have them starve this time, though, so the miners and farmers quickly get to work on doubling the size of our food plots. Here's Genius Lynx doing his thing (hidden by my green cross thing). Guess he doesn't trust the new blokes for it just yet...
    (SPOILER)

    Later...
    Hammer Time

    You know, I just noticed we have no cats. Elves aren't selling them, either. Ah well. Maybe next time. I make a note to request them.

    Just as I was thinking this, I get a slab of metal with an engraved note from Pauper that Freya has become a metalsmith, and celebrated it in the same way most dwarves celebrate becoming a metalsmith: Withdrawing from society. Can't blame the lass, with all these new folk around. She finally finished it off and came up with... a WAR HAMMER! Now that's what I'm talking about! It's, uh, got a lot of tin in it, but hey, beats a grate, right?
    (SPOILER)

    Later...
    Love & Marriage

    Anyone interested in relationships?
    Miriel+Iceglow - Romatically Involved
    Agent Proto+I'm my own MILF - Romatically Involved
    Dignified Pauper+DK - Romatically Involved
    Rye+Tavrobel - Romatically Involved
    Levian - Widowed by a non-EoFF named lever-infested person
    I Took the Red Pill+Christmas - Romatically Involved
    Psychotic+Jessweeee - Romatically Involved
    And...
    JKTrix+Booga - MARRIED!!! Guess who's gonna be poppin' out Necrobait! Idle no more, good sir!

    Later...
    Summer, Summer, Summertime

    So I'm busy digging when I get some news from many floors above - Iceglow has become a legendary champion! Splendid! This whole fortress thing isn't turning out so bad. I check in to see how the very-picky Mayor Levian's office is coming along and BAM! Summer. So that's one update. Oh God. How many seasons do I have to do? D= Hopefully won't get 18 migrants next time.
    (SPOILER)
    From top to bottom...
    Leeza's bedroom: Not actually that messy. Engravings are weird.
    Leeza's office: Contains stone. Eh, I'll clean that up later.
    Levian's bedroom: The one thing he's happy with.
    Levian's office: Work in progress.
    BoB's bedroom & office: Eventually Rye and Tavrobel's bedroom and office?


    So basically: 18 new people arrived, I dug a lot, I reassigned a few people, I expanded the food area, I added an area for smithies, I worked on offices, I re-organised the military a little.
    Last edited by Loony BoB; 11-28-2009 at 04:44 PM.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  9. #174
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Hahaha funny update, I dig it.

    Although just gotta say: We have a way of making weapons xD It's in the bowels of the fortress because it's magma fuelled. Press F4 and you'll see it! Plus I think we already have Wolf Kanno and Lekana (as Freya).

    But, good job! Everyone is very un-dead! And I don't know why poor Roxanne hates everyone and is friends with that rotten Necronopticous.

    Also I am so surprised Iceglow has become a champion. I have only ever had one Marksdwarf reach Elite, let alone Champion.

  10. #175
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    No Wolf Kanno that I can find. Freya, yes (Who allowed THAT name change? Urgh). I'll change Lekana to Fujiko.

    I don't want to know why you only make friends with the local child predator. But really you're friends with a lot more people, they're all on the previous page. Like ShlupQuack!

    Oh, right, forges. I've not used them before. I just noticed on the workshops list that there were no Metalsmith's Forge's listed, didn't think to look for Magma Forges! Oh well.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  11. #176
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Ah, actually I think Wolf Kanno is the same Dwarf as he was an Animal Caretaker for me too. Also, friends with Shlup? Gross.

    There's also a magma glass furnace and magma kiln down there, if you want to expand into glass making operations. Plenty of sand about!

  12. #177
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    It should be noted my other updates will very likely not be anywhere near as long as that. I only did that big long one as it's Saturday and Danielle's working.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  13. #178
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Towntwinkles - 22 Early Spring by Psychotic

    Added it to the Map Archive and I used the same font as MB and Nec so it didn't look out of place.

    The fortress used to look so stylish until I came along! I just hacked buildings into the walls wherever I felt like it. Sorry. Also I made holes in existing walls because there were traffic issues, particularly in that one-tile corridor by the bedrooms. Not all of it is because I lack design taste!

    Also I think it was Monda who generated the world so I gotta ask, how did you get the .txt report on how many types of each creature there are in the world?

  14. #179
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    Goblin attack going on at the moment, and a lot of them, too!

    This wouldn't be that interesting if it weren't for the fact that all the soldiers are TOO BUSY SPARRING WITH EACH OTHER TO FIGHT THE ENEMY. >_<
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  15. #180
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Dude you need to put them on duty.

    m -> v on each squad leader, then press t to put them on duty.

    Then when you're back in the fortress, press x for squad command. Use the s button to "station" them in places (I just use it to tell them what I want to die) they should be stationed in the gatehouse by default as that's usually a good place to be!

    When the battle is over and if we're still alive, put them off duty again. They don't gain skill levels if they're on duty, you see.

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