That would sound a lot better with just a couple of extra syllables. Like eesty said, it's all about rhythm.
"In order to be sans remorse,
The trick is obvious, of course..."
I'll try to come up with some more tomorrow, if I am not dead after Torts exam.
Can we please just let my long, massive, and messy brain fart go now?H
The one they all teased was Neocracker
Making him feel like a Zero thereafter
He crying himself to sleep
He was unable to keep
The sorrow from overcoming the Laughter.
Last edited by NeoCracker; 12-12-2009 at 05:51 AM.
Did you read it aloud? There is rhythm
it was difficult to make it truly dirty
there once was a dude named neel
who had an obsession to steal
the hearts of the young
and shove them in dung
and stab with his dick made of steel
Among the three thousand she's laid
Not one man will be heard to be say
That Shlup is a newb
Or lacking in boob
But all wish that they were born gay
The girl Shlup is known for her ass
as well as her boobs and her sass
she said "I will screw
anyone, but you
will be hurt from all the toys brass."
Again I had trouble with the last line. Oh well. Too tired/lazy to put real thought into it.
Last edited by Raistlin; 12-15-2009 at 06:14 AM.
and who was lecturing me on rhythm? xD
What? That actually works better than most of my other limericks. Short words, matching syllables (last one has one more, but oh well).
Actually I can fix the last line easily by just taking out the "-ing" from "hurting." There, perfect!
you're still putting the stress on the word "the" xD
I was putting it on "all." I guess it depends on how you read it.
There once was a lad named Quin,
Whose mum took me for a spin,
Then she made lunch,
and I gave her a punch
Without teeth she looks truly grim.
Because I'm one hell of a butler.
Grim, but certainly more practical.
Bwahaha, indeed!
Because I'm one hell of a butler.
Here's an amusing one I found:
One drowsy old Countess of Florage
Would keep her mouth open for snorage
The Count still had fun
And when he was done
She had swallowed a bit of his porridge
Hey, Raist finally posted a limerick that actually fits the rhythm!
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