That is normal Massamunemaster. You are more than likely in a state of life that you are trying to find yourself. There are a lot of tools for this out there, that will help you describe yourself, and learn things about your behavioral patterns.

I first suggest taking the MBTI as a starting point: Personality test based on Jung - Myers-Briggs typology

This may describe you as being introverted, and liking a small number of good friends. Either way, it will give you a score in the form of four letters. I for instance, am and INFP, with a weak I. You can google INFP (or whatever your score is) to find a description that may suit you, and state why you do and react to things in as you do. This tool will give you such valuable insight, it is unreal.

I would slowly try to rely on more people - not with important things, but just include them in your life. Some people are just "status" friends. They may not be reliable, but they can come in handy when needed and may just be nice to have.

You should look at what you define as friend, and likely loosen it up. I have a metric ton of friends that I try to keep up with in the real life. If I tried to be a good friend to all (and I tend to try), I burn myself out. Instead, they understand me because I am able to explain to them how it is I work... and a lot came form insight from the MBTI.

The MBTI can also give you insight as to why other people act/reel the way they do.

EOFF is about the worst place, imo, to try to find yourself. It is an old community full of people who may not be the healthiest to open up around. I am sure you know this.

.... I by no means am saying it is the worst, but there are self-centered asshats that will take your half-existence and turn it into a small game.