Man-complishments

[Freya]

I fought a bear in the rocky mountains with only a stick and my trusty hound to help. It was a frightening experience and I have the scars to prove it. You see I came upon a cub and my dog, being that he was a dog, growled at it. We were next to a stream of course and smack right out of the water a momma bear-shark descended upon us.

I lost my good friend in that battle, Lewis. He wasn't a very smart guy, he thought he could hug the robot and it would all be fine. It was a robot-bear-shark you see. She started to shoot lasers at us and saws came out of it's robot-bear-shark chest and chopped dear Lewis up. My trusty hound and I were frightened but I had my stick.

Then it seemed the smooth informative voice of Morgan Freeman was heard, "I will kill you." When in hindsight, this wasn't very smooth at all. Informative yes but it wasn't as smooth as one would want that saying to go over.

It just so happened to have a file on hand that sounded like Morgan Freeman, it wasn't actually him at all. I was a bit relieved because Morgan Freeman AND a robot-bear-shark would really have done me in.

So the Morgan Freeman-robot-bear-shark was moving in for it's kill against me. I threw my spear, my stick, it was sturdy enough and while Morgan Freeman-robot-bear-shark was killing my friend lewis I carved the end into a point, to pierce it's heart. It died.

I'm that manly.