Task 1 ~ In doing what we ought we deserve no praise - ENDED!

[Raistlin]

So I'm inexperienced with this whole poem thing, but I wanted to try it, so I spent most of last night working on this. I have known Amanda for something like 9 years, and we have had... well, an interesting relationship. I wanted to try to capture in words the depth of my feelings, but that is difficult to do. I first contemplated an epic sonnet, but that was too limiting. And so here is the final product. If you can, try to grasp all of the layers of meaning, though some of it will be easily missed without context. I would appreciate any feedback, because this is my first attempt at a poem of this kind.

"Ode to Shlup"

[Breine]

Here's mine.

[Rebellious Eagle]

Well...at least I tried.

[Flying Mullet]

I would appreciate any feedback, because this is my first attempt at a poem of this kind.

"Ode to Shlup"

Not too bad. But I feel the introduction of an antagonist would give the poem more balance.

[Unbreakable Will]

http://forums.eyesonff.com/writers-c...ml#post2809403
The deed is done.

[Raistlin]

Not too bad. But I feel the introduction of an antagonist would give the poem more balance.

My feelings were meant to be their own antagonist, as they fought against each other in my internal conflict. That may not have come through very well in the final product.

[Freya]

Doodle power!

[Fonzie]

Tis done, my liege.

[Moon Rabbits]

If you want to access it, if you want to become one of those charged with the task of keeping buttholes like Moon Rabbits and Bunny (coincidence? damn rodents) from chasing away the cute fluffy members, then... we must like each other.

I'VE ALREADY LOST THEN.

I hope it isn't cheating if I modified an old poem i've already written.

[Raistlin]

So apparently Shlup loved my piece. Sorry guys, but I have this one in the bag.

[Rodarian]

So apparently Shlup loved my piece. Sorry guys, but I have this one in the bag.

*snipes Raistlin*

[Shlup]

Times up!

And I lost my checklist of people who hadn't submitted yet... goddammit... *goes to re-check*

[demondude]

Come onnnnnn. *fingers crossed*

[PureMourning]

You have 24 hours to complete this task. Anyone who hasn't completed this task by the time I wake up from my hangover tomorrow will be eliminated.

Damn! I missed the deadline by 9 minutes! Ironic considering I was puking out of the passenger's seat of my roommate's jeep while driving home late last night!

Blasted hangover! Haha.

Oh well, I love to write! So I did this up with haste when I woke up! Inspired by Del Murder; who I know nothing about!

[Goldenboko]

If it makes you feel any better, I liked it.