Dear Tina Turner

[Moon Rabbits]

Dear Tina Turner,

I am writing to you about my problem. After I listened to your hit 'Private Dancer' I consider you to be an authority in the matter. I need to know what to do with my mouth when I dance. Sometimes when I have not had enough alcohol to cover up the shame of being forced to dance by, what could be best described as 'a dick', it's all I can focus on. So much so that I have no idea what is going on outside my shame, my legs & my mouth. So, do you bite your bottom lip like Ricky in The Office? Do you pout? Do you grin like a cheshire cat on prozac? Or...do you merely do nothing? body moving but face acting as if it's watching Two & Half Men & losing it's will to live. I sometimes cry, is that acceptable? When I did drugs I never had this problem as I used to chew gum or the sides of my mouth till the blood stopped. Now I have no such excuses. I chewed gum a few times but I did not always have it to hand...i'm not proud of this but one time I even pretended to chew gum...there was nothing there & everyone knew it. If I had it my way Tina I'd never dance but there are times where it's unavoidable like weddings of people you love & funerals of people you hate.

Please help Tina you're my only hope.

PS: You're still alive right?


Yours

Cuch

I love you.

Incidentally, I have never thought about my mouth whilst dancing probably because I'm usually so drunk I have no idea what's going on if I'm dancing.

[Cuchulainn]

Back atcha Rabbets

[Old Manus]

Have one corner of your mouth droop, as if you've recently had a stroke.

[Rodarian]

I usually smile or if its particularly awesome song.. I kick into high gear and my lips usually begins to pout for some 'sexual healing' XD