Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 33

Thread: In 2002

  1. #1

    Default In 2002

    Something terrible happened.

    My name is going to remain confidential, to protect those of which I am accusing. In 2002, I registered at Eyes on Final Fantasy, whole-heartedly believing that I was going to be joining a group of dedicated Final Fantasy fans who just loved Squaresoft and didn't believe that there was wrong with the world.

    When I first joined, I remember some individual named Big Ogre Umaro who tried to get me to eat some cookies, and everyone else shouted no. Well, I ate them, and to this day I regret it.

    I quickly found out that those cookies were laced with a body and mind altering drug that caused you to lose control of your motor skills and make you shut up for an extended period of time. I was carried off by a giant yellow bird and that ogre, where I was taken to the Secret Staff Forum. There, the things that were done were unmentionable; however, today, they bear mentioning.

    I was stripped down to my skivvies and thrown in a large room, tied to a post. Around me, there were others. You might know them some of them. Well, as we were all tied up, we got to know each other very well. What was going one was that the "then" faction of moderators and administrators here, before they were known as Cid's Knights, were capturing unsuspecting newbies and having sick pleasure with them.

    We were queued up like depraved animals. I remember one individual, Kyono, who was there. He was penetrated by that big yellow bird in an unmentionable area, where no man should ever be penetrated. It was that exit only. The only trouble was, is that the more it happened, the more he enjoyed it. I think he was developing that symptom where you fall in love with your capturers.

    There was also diseases running rampant. Apparently, the staff were all infected with something called the "jibbles" and was spreading it around to all of us. Their goal was to keep most of us until we were died, where they would then celebrate by throwing our bodies in a mass grave and call out prayers to some deity named Cid. Well, some of us were not so lucky. Some of us, they simply dumped in the middle of no where.

    This was also an initiation process of those who would be knighted next in the name of The Terrible One - Cid. If they followed through with the beatings and sexual abuses, then they were allowed to be Knights. However, if they failed to do what was asked, then they were tied up as well, and they never escaped. They didn't want their secret getting out. The worst experience I ever saw was that Linus character. What they did, when he wanted to be on staff and failed the initiation... it is too horrible to mention. They impersonated him, and left a long note stating that he had committed suicide and that everything was done for. I remember him chickening out in front of me, and then just hit him over the head. How cruel to think everyone he knows thought he killed himself. Really, he might still be locked away somewhere.

    Well, they didn't keep me for more than 5 years, and then they dumped me in the middle of nowhere. Usually, we would become prostitutes, spreading around the "Jibbles" unknowingly. Some of us became thieves, murderers, homeless - this list goes on. Many ended up behind bars due to these crude acts. Personally, I became a prostitute over at such slums like Fool's Gold.

    Finally, I said enough was enough. I was so traumatized by the experience, that for years, I avoided the truth and suppressed it from my mind. I thought if I didn't acknowledge it, then it never happened, but I was plagued by nightmares, and I would always have the "jibbles." I remember one time when that big yellow bird jiggled my tits in a dream, and I woke up in a terrible fright. He was the worst of them all. Possibly the direct line of communication between the others and Cid.

    Well, I moved around a bit, from Fool's Gold, to God Hates Fraggles, some pink board, and a few other satellites surrounding Eyes on Final Fantasy. It wasn't until I caught a blowing piece of the EoFF Post that I finally just broke down and realized that I had to go back and tell my story.

    I traveled a long distance to reach you here. I remembered in the EoFF Post, there wasn't anything worthy of real news. So I decided to bring this to you. I know my time here will not be long, and that I will be sooner or later exonerated. I don't know what they will do to someone who they once captured. I guess they just assumed us to have such a terrible experience that we would be so crazy that no one would believe. I have to say, that almost always, their plans worked.

    Not this time. I'm here to say that the Cid's Knights raped and abused me, and i am here to bring them to Justice! Who is with me!? We need to stand up, act out, fight jibbles! We need to bring down this corrupt faction and deny them the privileges that they have asserted. You cannot treat people in this manner. I will NOT be tolerated!

  2. #2
    I'm selling these fine leather jackets Aerith's Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    10,825
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    That's just Psy being Psy.


  3. #3
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    cumree
    Posts
    14,731
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    tldr


    there was a picture here

  4. #4
    Unimportant Passerby Rase's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    The United States of America.
    Posts
    5,948

    Default

    Rape is never funny.
    Boy am I an unfunny ass.

  5. #5
    Ghost of Christmas' past Recognized Member theundeadhero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    In Jojee's pants x_~
    Posts
    15,567

    FFXIV Character

    Villania Valski (Adamantoise)
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Senior Site Staff

    Default

    Want some cookies? It'll make you feel better.
    Last edited by theundeadhero; 04-01-2010 at 03:30 PM.
    ...

  6. #6
    I'm selling these fine leather jackets Aerith's Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    10,825
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rase View Post
    Rape is never funny.


  7. #7
    Not a Banana Mo-Nercy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,277
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default

    I think it's funny that the post ends with "I will NOT be tolerated!"

  8. #8
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2000
    Posts
    52,471
    Articles
    53
    Blog Entries
    19

    FFXIV Character

    Loony Bob (Twintania)

    Default

    I know who this is and I don't buy it at all. I mean, I'm not going to say anything about who this is, but what I will say is that this whole attempt to incriminate BOU, myself or anyone else is full of failure.

    Stick to X-COM threads!
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  9. #9
    I'm selling these fine leather jackets Aerith's Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    10,825
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Nobody's buying it, BawB.


  10. #10

    Default

    I wish I were back in 2002 where I still had high spirits, innocent and naive with the world.


    "... and so I close, realizing that perhaps the ending has not yet been written."


  11. #11
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2000
    Posts
    52,471
    Articles
    53
    Blog Entries
    19

    FFXIV Character

    Loony Bob (Twintania)

    Default

    If I was a gambling man, I'd bet money that the person who posted this would, if this thing actually have happened, actually kinda like it.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  12. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rase View Post
    Rape is never funny.
    Try raping a clown.

  13. #13
    Score: 0 out of 2 Dignified Pauper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    6,037

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Loony BoB View Post
    If I was a gambling man, I'd bet money that the person who posted this would, if this thing actually have happened, actually kinda like it.
    I think that you shouldn't be making such light-hearted statements in light of such horrendous accusations.

  14. #14
    Dinner is served. Unbreakable Will's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Phantomhive Manor
    Posts
    3,100
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Lies BoB...the Gods of EoFF frown upon your feeble attempts to cover your arse.

    Because I'm one hell of a butler.

  15. #15
    Gobbledygook! Recognized Member Christmas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Pious Moose's HQ
    Posts
    13,527
    Blog Entries
    6
    Contributions
    • Hosted the Ciddies

    Default

    Nah, Life goes on without internet forums.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •