Our ships are programmed to self-destruct when something less awesome than us tries to pilot them.

You keep saying that you'd zombify the 501st as punishment should you win. Are you saying that to be a zombie is to be guilty of some atrocious crime? That becoming a zombie is nothing to be proud of or hoped for, but is instead a method of punishing wrong-doers? If so, why would anyone want a party of miscreants in power?