Topic #1: What was the coolest birthday cake you've ever had as a kid?
<del>It was a cockerdoodle</del> For my fifth birthday, I decided everything was going to be blue, so my grandma made blue icing for my cake it was so pretty

Topic #2: What is your best childhood memory of being spoiled and loved by your grandparents? (If you've never known your grandparents, you can choose another family member!)
<del>There was that night when I was seven when grandpa took me out to Blackwell to pick up some scotch</del> I don't actually remember this, but I found a card my grandma just sent me (not on any occasion) and it had like ten smiley face stickers on it and a little line like "You make me this happy" or something

Topic #3: What was your favorite book as a child?
<del>The New Joy of Sex</del> God, what an impossible question! I really liked Catherine, Called Birdy, and I spent hours and hours reading through all the stories in Grimm's Fairy Tales.

Topic #4: What was your first pet and what was its name?
<del>Candíru named Dick</del> A black lab named Puppa. Hehehehe, there's a pretty funny story about Puppa if you'd like to hear 8)

Topic #5: Did you believe in anything like trolls under your bed or closet monsters as a kid? If so, which one scared you the most?
<del>Well, the only thing I found under the bed was dad's porn, and the only thing in the closet was mom's dildos... so no</del> When I read the Babysitter's Club, I was introduced to the idea of monsters under the bed, and how to avoid them. I tried jumping into bed from a few feet away a few times, just to try it, and quickly got bored of it. The first real phobia I had about household places didn't come until later and I am not sharing it

props to you, Rye, those dirty things were actually difficult to come up with!