Okay seeing as everyone is getting a little bit heated I am going to change the tone a bit. Come on guys, this is supposed to be fun! No need for vulgar words like "asshole" and "dumbass" and "rusty trombone".

But yes, if you are having trouble trying to decide who is evil or not, I'll divulge my methods for determining my fellow townsman's worth and you can apply it for yourselves. It's a really simple concept actually.

Do you know Um Bongo? They drink it in the Congo. Like seriously, I'm not ting you, there's a cartoon rhino and a song and everything. Check it out:

YouTube - Um Bongo!

In case you couldn't quite catch the words, allow me to serenade you again.

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.
The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo"
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin.
The parrot painted packets, that the whole caboodle landed in.
So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!

See? They drink that in the Congo. Now lets have a look at which fruits they use. Obviously, they like Mango. We're awesome. They also endorse Mandarin's in the congo, which is basically the same thing as an Orange. An Apricot is pretty much just a yellow plum, so he's cool too. As for guava, that is just a fancy way of saying Pomegranite anyway.

So you see, anything that the Congolese see fit to add to their tasty fruit beverage must be above board, there is no way they would use mafia fruits to hydrate their little ones! So I think it is safe to assume that any of us fruits that they drink in the Congo are all the good guys.

So there you have it folks. Believe in the good people of the Congo, don't vote for Um Bongo.