Originally Posted by
Genius Lynx
Award twenty-eight should be viewed as an intervention, a sign that people love you, but you require help!
Like earthquakes, bad names happen; Jarvis and Shasta are natural disasters and the only malevolent power at work there were terrible parents! It is out of our hands, though luckily Jarvis and Shasta both can go change their names when they get a chance...or they can hang themselves, whichever works best!
Usernames, though, are the handwrought children of our own introspection; a snapshot of who we think we are and what we like and in what year we were born! With some creativity, a truly great username can be born, something inspired and fantastic, something that oozes a singular sign pointing out you from the rest of the world!
But! But by the same token, it also rests in your hands the chance of forging misery and dejection, creating a username so bad, eyes roll upon its reading and you find yourself with a slew of nicknames which all avoid your own terrible choice of letters, numbers, and/or symbols! Your username is a sign alright; a sign that you need a second party to help choose a name instead of letting you to your own devices! We apologize, but we mean these nominations for the best!
BarelySeeAtAll, we know not what you see in the least regarding this name; should we best ignore your posts, are you condemned to some blindness, or is there a more oblique reference which defies discovery?! We are not seeing at all what you want out of this name! As a stranger, maybe my one opinion is not so great, but there appears to be others who feel the same way!
By the grace of error, Hypoallergenic Cactuar falls upon this list! This name, as we all know, is a monument to a unique mind paired with an extrordinary sense of brilliance! I may be alone in this thought, as others might stumble over a large word or not know a creature from the Final Fantasy series! "Hypo-(mumble-mumble)?" "He misspelled 'cactus', no?!" I believe it great that there exists an allergen-free spine-shooting monster of plush and painful persuasions, but evidently others think you need therapy!
Ah, Laddy! Ever the disappointing name for a wonderful personality we all know throughout General Chat! Just a shy better than Whitey, Laddy is the embodiment of something wrong; not quite a Scottish laddie, and perfectly able to defy painting a picture of person we read in text! The best conclusion we can draw from the name is its owner has boy parts (can we say penis?!)! Stunning blandness aside, the lad behind the name is great and we are glad he overcame the hurdle that is his name! If you like the "ie" sound, might we recommend Corgi!?
Again with disgraceful mistakes! Meat Puppet deserves low bows and hats taken off for the shy eloquence he donned with this moniker! Simply from the name, we know he is made of meat and this meat is manipulated to perform! Were I not inextricably tied to this name, Meat Puppet II would be my next alias! While other people might find a literal meat puppet disgusting and thus carry that abhorrence to the name, his commentary on the human mindset and focus on physical appearances does not escape me!
On a Final Fantasy forum, perhaps the the biggest faux pas is naming oneself after something in the series (ignore my praise of the cactus earlier)! We all know you like Final Fantasy; you post on a message board about the video game series! As evident as this is, people often decide to mark this obvious interest in a name, and seiferalmasy2 sadly falls into this category! Dare I tell him about my romantic dream where he gets a name change!?
A shod hobo we could forgive, but The Shoeless Hobo,never! In a stellar departure from his namesake, our Hobo clearly uses a computer and most likely wear shoes! Why the deception?! We can only speculate his disgust at seeing homeless people wearing shoes eventually led to a breakdown whilst playing Final Fantasy VII and he began his Internet crusade to de-shoe the wino population! Parade your agenda elsewhere, you hobo-hating, uh, Hobo, like under the freeway or in the boxwoods at Roosevelt Park!
Wronged individuals aside, this crowd of misfits is clearly packing some heat, but which of these hapless misnomers are going to go home with a .gif image of Cid's head?!
Bitter much?
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