These are our candidates for best male. Our roughest, toughest, boys; ones who have fought the emotionally confused beasts of Eyes on Each Others, climbed to the highest peaks of the message board within the FF8 theory threads of Final Fantasy 12 forum, and cut through the thickets of the wall of text of Iceglow.
These men have muscles on their muscles and probably have gone through double puberty.
So naturally, I will write why each men should win in dainty haikus.
Allow me to... set the mood.
*90s inbedded .tiptoethroughthetulips.wav*
Cuchulainn --
He's not our only Irishman on the forum, but he's certainly the toughest one! It's hard not to laugh when you see a post by him. He's definitely not afraid
to say what everyone is thinking. Oh, and his accent is cool. Haiku time!
ach, ye wee piss smurf
if ahm not best male i will
spread leprechaun taint
(to yer Ma)
---
Guardian XIII -- Guardian XIII is also a writer - a writer of an epic Star Wars saga. And I really mean epic - it's a huge hilarious thread with posts longer
than Vader's lightsaber. Read it and you can bathe in the wit of Guardian XIII!
Can a wookie swim
in space? I don't know quite yet
I'm waiting to see
(I can't wait for the next chapter!)
---
I'm my own MILF --
The tallest leprechaun in the bunch, I'm My Own MILF compensates with his insecurity of being thrown out of the Emerald Isle for being too big by reading books and getting degrees and being a general creep in General Chat. Suspected of watching people get naked in front of their laptops through the eyes of Barry Manilow - though this is unconfirmed. I can't say anything actually nice about him because I'm his girlfriend, so that would make people retch.
maybe if I post
walls of text in eoeo
i will win best male
(But Monda will still have my girlfriend)
Jiro --
Our resident athlete Jiro is certainly tough, running as much as he does. But he has a sensitive side as well, which women find attractive in tough guys. He writes and even posts it on Eyes On, and poses for photos in the photo thread. NorthernChaosGod was reported to find attraction to Jiro's legs, but that's unconfirmed.
I ran to Iran
And I still had time to write
Read it - From Point A
(I help advertise in this speech. Maybe I deserve best male too. /smug)
Levian --
Despite the short jokes (those are so 2008 guys!) Levian has the reputation of being one of the forum's sexy guy. Making his debut in the raves of Habbo Hotel when he'd corner innocent lurkers and rub his pelvis all over them while chanting about bread, Levian has been the eye of all of the ladies on EoFF. And why not? He has a heart of gold and a Norwegian charm. I hope this haiku is representative of him:
Ignore my scissors
sit on my lap, sweet lady
norwegian sex-off
(it was protected, don't worry. Scandinavia has the lowest STD and teen pregnancy rate!)
Loony BoB --
Loony BoB is one of our oldest standing members. This man is tough because he eats vegemite without throwing up. He was also called clown face by ffbabe without crying and while he was injured in a fight with a lightbulb, he eventually won the war against it. No one can deny the toughness of this kind hearted kiwi in Scotland. Time for the haiku:
Mr. EoFF or
the arse-smurfah - either way
Loony BoB has wood.
(MY HAND IS TINGGGGGGLING)
Psychotic --
Psychotic is my breast friend. This may be because his always boobies my spirits when I'm sad, or else has a tittylating joke whenever we speak. I know many other people feel likewise about this perky and bouncy member who has risen to the heights of adminship.
breasts jugs boobie tit
If I win best male it's not
because of my wit
(it's my breast collection. Shlupscup.jpg)
Quin --
Quin has a big beautiful curly mane that he maintains through fitting on girls on the photo thread. Have you ever noticed his hair drooping in a photo when he's not posted
at Zeldy photos after a while? I sure have. As this haiku will reveal, he also has a secret skill with hair discovered last weekend.
Stop squirming, Iceglow
I can't plait your bum hair
If you don't settle down.
(I will make it tug sensually)
Rantzien --
Rantzien is controlled entirely by his eyebrows. His admin powers? Eyebrows. His skills to code fantastic websites and skins? Eyebrows. His big hearted and caring personality? Eyebrows! His eyebrows? HIS EYEBROWS!!! And that makes him scary and dangerous.
I can punch strawberries
with my eyebrows so watch out
I can punch you too
(:kaofight: :kaofight2
Wolf Kanno --
Wolf Kanno is the golden boy of the nether regions of EoFF - the Final Fantasy forums. He gives advice and help to all that ask for it, and that gives him a rugged appeal that makes everyone fall over for. He has even helped me at times. I hope this haiku is a good thanks for his help!
Help Wanted: Should I
name Dagger "butt girl" or is
"Dildo Breath" better?
(Insert Raistlin's story about krissy leveling Aeris up to 99 before disc one for the billionth time)
Master of the Fork
streme Wheelie
Originally Posted by Rye
