Now on time --
Jiro: When we think of the Best Member, certain names come to mind. Active posters, whose contributions to the site are humorous, numerable and enjoyable. These members give their blood, sweat and tears (and possibly semen too) to the site, and for this, we congratulate them. The ultimate recognition we, as the populace of Eyes on Final Fantasy, can bestow upon these outstanding members is the Best Member Ciddie.
Timekeeper: Best Member? I thought this was Best Food?
Uh, not quite. Anyway, we have an extensive line up of nominees this time around, and it’s going to be a tough competition. Once again I’m joined by my partner in crime, Timekeeper, as we take a look at the finalists for this edition of the Eyes on Final Fantasy Ciddies. Any preliminary comments?
I DON’T WANT A COMMENT!
Fine, biatch. First up, I want it to be known that I’m not congratulating anyone on giving their semen to the site. It’s weird and unnecessary.
Whatever, let’s just take a look at our first nominee. Rye is an almost-twenty year old cakefart enthusiast, residing somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean. Rye is a relatively new Cid’s Knight, and the former President of EyesonFF. She also runs an octopus producing factory, where she employs the use of numerous slaves, former banned members of EyesonFF. Any thoughts on our very own shebread?
Well, Rye does in fact, you know, that should be one word; infact, gain points for being a necessary ingredient for holding together the bread that is Eyeson, but loses points for her cakefart. Instant dismissal there methinks! Next. Goddman cakefart! No!
Uh, okay. Well, next we have Rantzien, resident viking chieftain. He recently graduated from the Sweden Viking School of Badassity. He’s also the reigning Best Member, and won it once before in the 2008 End of Year Ciddies. Rantzien is obviously a consistently best member. What do you think about his chances to win back-to-back Best Member Ciddies?
Usual ridiculousness aside, I have high hopes for Rantz in today’s competition. He’s got the style, he’s got the moves, he’s got it all, or something like that. Although I’d rather he’d share around the awards he may hoard, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wins and I wouldn’t have anything against it either.
Well with an endorsement rather than ridicule coming from my partner here, it seems like Rantzien either has a really good chance, or is completely smurfed. Our next member is Marshall Banana, the Strawberry Goddess of EyesonFF. For some reason she hates bacon, but don’t let the crispy side of her personality turn you off, or she’ll slay you with her large arsenal of cute photos. I do like seeing Mr Bunnington in the photo thread.
MB is definitely my pick for the day. Not only does she endorse bananas in her username, she is, as Jiro stated, the Strawberry Goddess! When it comes to being the best food on EoFF MB is by far the best and the yummiest, she just screams cute!
Dude, seriously, this isn’t a competition to see which EyesonFF member best represents food, it’s best member.
Yeah, sorry, I’m just hungry; can we stop off and get some food soon?
Sure, whatever, moving on. Psychotic is the walrus, k-oo koo kachoo. Occasionally known as Paul von Handsomestein, he is also the current President of EyesonFF, as is known for being a generally all round lovable guy. But not from me, no; Psychotic is my eternal rival, who I will one day slay in a Thunderdome match or, perhaps even, in the most dangerous game. Besides, he always sweeps the Ciddies, so nobody cares if he’s the current Best Male or whatever. Screw you, barmpot.
Two man enter, one man leave!
Next then is Jessweeee♪. I must say, I’m glad to see a strong turn out from the females this time around. Makes sense following their win in the First EoFF Battle of the Sexes. Back to Jessweeee♪ though; she’s our newest Cid’s Knight, and is one of half of team Mogweeee♪. There’s something…musical about this girl. Probably because of the music note in her name. She also has cute glasses, just fyi.
Sweet, food eatings time! Oh, sorry yeah, not only does Jessweeee, crap what’s the code for the music note? Uhhh, there it is! Alt+13 ♪ Not only does Jessweeee♪ bring cuteness into this contest as well, she’s got a lot going for her as a very active member in this here forum. And on top of that, she inadvertently teaches our newer members html character coding. Although, I wouldn’t want to assign her to a food, or drink for that matter…
Wolf Kanno comes in as a bit of an underdog for this award, pun fully intended. While you’d only hear positives from the members who know him, his presence rarely leaves the gaming forums where he is most comfortable, and for that, his exposure is limited. However he is a Cid’s Knight, and there’s every chance the denizens of the lower forums will come out and vote in droves for him. Maybe that Chinese gold farmer he has locked in his basement will somehow send a few votes his way too.
Ah yes, Wolf Kanno! Certainly a member deserving of this award. He certainly isn’t your run of the mill staff member, keeping order down in the depths of the lower forums. As for a food? Well, Wolf Kanno sounds like he’d be a bit meaty, but is that what it takes to come out on top? I guess we’ll find out real soon. Who’s next Jiro?
Christmas is back in time for the June Ciddies, and bringing with her a sack full of posts and usernotes. Christmas is undoubtedly one of the most recognisable posters, with her 
smiley and spreading of warm and delicious HATE. Everyone loves her except smelly Old Manus, but that doesn’t stop their HATE from blossoming. She has won a plethora of Ciddies before, including Best Female at the last Ciddies, and there’s little doubt she’ll be a tough competitor. 
guarantees it.
Christmas Christmas Christmas! Probably the friendliest member of the forum, and easily a hot competitor for this award. Eyeson is a better place when it’s Christmas time, the people are nicer and the food is great. Infact, Christmas is certainly my second pick for food of the forum. Om nom nom nom!
Our last nominee is Loony BoB. I’m pleasantly surprised the dusty old chocobo is up for nomination, he’s been a strong supporter of EyesonFF since probably before I was born. His looniness is well deserved, with his strong fascination with all things statistics and graphs. I don’t think he’s realised you can’t eat pie charts yet. BoB is top contributor and this humble member salutes him. Breaking from tradition, Loony BoB remains a kiwi. Australia has enough lunatics as it is, sorry BoBBers.
The older the cheese the better I say!
Le Graph!
Yes! Still, I don’t think any of these guys have what it takes to be the best food! We need someone with real fibre (not moral fibre of course).
How about Raistlin? Reminds me of raisins, and hell if the man (not to be confused with The Man) doesn’t deserve the award.
That’s good, that’s good, I like raisins. I eat raisin bran to kick start my day in a healthy way! Why don’t you check out raisin bran today?
Yeah, okay then. Raistlin is an intelligent poster, and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind, no matter the consequences. He is often seen in EoEo defending open-mindedness and is crucified for his good deeds.
If he grew a beard and wore a robe over that bikini, he still wouldn’t look like Jesus.
I’m… just gonna ignore you now. Raistlin is a daring lad, not afraid to take risks and play with fire. He took on the staff for April Fools through an elaborate plot and managed to come out of it with an admittance from ShlupQuack that she just couldn’t bring herself to ban him.
That bit about taking risks and playing with fire sounds like something I wrote once. But that was about a cat, like none other. It was a cat that played with fire and risked his neck. This cat was no ordinary cat, he could fly. He used these powers mostly for good, but he would delve in the dark arts until one day he was completely immersed by the darkness. To war the sailors cried, to war we march!
*sigh* Raistlin is a man of integrity…
Never will they defeat our might, despite what they might bring, we, we will still have our toasters!
*long sigh* When the Ciddies lost their Best Thread and Best Post categories, Raistlin stood up and said “nay!” as they would have in previous centuries and decided to boycott the Ciddies, rather than participate in what he felt was a tainted event.
You know what? I think Raisin toast should win the Best Food award. It’s a delicious breakfast treat! Better than ordinary toast by a fair margin.
Well, he’s got my vote too. In a change from the usual, Award Guy has died and made me king, so with two out of two votes by this commentary team, I hereby award the Best Member Ciddie to Raistlin. Three huzzahs!
Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Hey, cool, you know that’s almost a palindrome in pronunciation!
Okay Timekeeper, okay. Thanks folks for a wonderful Mid Year Ciddies, and we’ll see you all again next time! Keep wagging folks.
Keep wagging? Isn’t that my line?
Originally Posted by Rye
