The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured FOA instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as FOA roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
When you play Monopoly with FOA, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
FOA uses a night light. Not because FOA is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of FOA.