Are you fat?

[Cuchulainn]

I'm fat. And don't listen to BMI, it's only useful for statistical purposes, and even then it's got a couple of glaring flaws.

And people who aren't very fat are often told they aren't *that* fat, especially by people that are fatter than them. Maybe because the fatter people don't want you to become even slimmer than them than you are now! Those bastards!

You escape my disgust on account of your epic beard.