Fun with a Christian Science textbook

[Raistlin]

Bob Jones University published this amazing science textbook to explain, well, everything. You can even look through the first chapter! Trust me, it's so worth it; you will learn stuff you could not have even begun to imagine. For instance:

Did you know everything we know about the moon is based exclusively on faith, since we didn't directly observe its beginnings ourselves?

Did you know that the word "capture" is associated with gangsters and pirates, and so it's silly to associate with how the Earth may have developed a moon?

Did you know that according to evolutionists, the moon should have 100,000 inches of dust?

Did you know that electricity is a complete mystery? We have no idea how it works! We just sprinkle magic dust and chant until stuff just starts working.

EDIT: the link to the textbook is not working at the moment, and so unfortunately no more preview chapter. I'll update if I find another one.

EDIT2: here's a link to all the books in their most current edition! Some may not have previews available.

[Clo]

"What do you think of when you hear the word capture? Gangsters or pirates?"

Gangsters, definitely gangsters.

"The solar system is so orderly that such an accident does not seem possible."

You know, when I think of the universe, the solar system and earth, the first word that comes to my mind is orderly. I'm glad these people think so too.

"The word condense means to "make thicker". What are scientists who believe this theory thinking?"

Ahahaha.

"a moonless night would be too dark for some organisms"

Good thing God created bats with that sonar thingy, or they'd be screwed.

I want this book for my smurfing birthday.

[Raistlin]

Oh, and don't forget to check out the teacher's edition! You will learn valuable tools to help children acknowledge the limitations of science. For example: make the kid eat some bread and ask him what the ingredients are. When he can't answer exactly, you've just proven to him that everything he doesn't directly observe himself must be accepted on faith!

[rubah]

omg, someone posted the definition of electricity, and I wanted to know who actually published it! Raistlin to the skeptical rescue!

[Necronopticous]

What century is it again?

[Shorty]

Explain God's ordered world to your student through the study of the moon, light, electricity, area and volume, simple machines, digestion, animal defenses, trees, erosion, and simple classification of insects!

[Vermachtnis]

Electricity is a mystery. No one has observed it or heard it or felt it.

Do you feel God?

[eestlinc]

If the authors of this textbook would like to feel electricity, I bet that can be arranged.

[Rodarian]

Did you know that electricity is a complete mystery? We have no idea how it works! We just sprinkle magic dust and chant until stuff just starts working.

OMG classic!


I believe in God but I also believe he created reason aka science behind all things on this plane of existence...


Those books are absolute rubbish

[Cuchulainn]

I'm buying it.

[G13]

Those books are comedy gold

Fixed.

I think I might actually buy a copy.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

Oh I am most certainly buying the teachers edition.

[Aerith's Knight]

Oh God, these kind of things make me ashamed to be a Christian. *smacks forehead*

[Rodarian]

Those books are comedy gold

Fixed.

I think I might actually buy a copy.

Thanks!

[Old Manus]

:sadpanda: