Teach me the ways of Tofu, EyesonFF.

[Pheesh]

Give it a knife and some herbs, then make it run through the sewers to the police station and reach the escape helicopter.

Let's hypothetically say that I'm a zombie and I want to eat the tofu. Then what do I do?

Put it in some miso soup, then throw that miso soup away, and eat some meat instead.