Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
Quote Originally Posted by ~*~Celes~*~ View Post
Mine would be tonight, when I was at work, a 9-10 year old girl came up to me and informed me that someone had pooped in the bread aisle and her mom had stepped in it.
I would just assume it was an animal's poo. It's hard to believe a human would poop in a friggen' store on the floor, but ya never know.
You know you'd think that wouldn't you Shiny...but oooh no! People are filthy smurfers! Seriously disgusting filthy smurfers!

I remember working in Sainsbury's where this old, morbidly obese, smelly and dirty couple just calmly carried on shopping and walking around as the woman everywhere! Literally s as she's walking through the smurfing beers, wines and spirits department. I was working on that department at the time. I immediately upon noticing that disgusting practice left shopfloor at a run and puked (their smell was enough to make my eyes water and my stomach churn the sight of her ting everywhere was just too much to handle) up at the cleaners station before calling down to the customer service desk asking "what the smurf do we do?" (In no uncertain terms or words it was "What the smurf do we do? There is a woman taking a as she walks around the BWS department! No Maria I am not on a smurfing wind-up there is a woman taking a smurfing in beers right the smurf now and it's smurfing disgusting I just had to puke in the sink of the cleaning station. Ok thanks send the duty manager please!" lol her half of the conversation was more cordial but I was traumatised) The duty manager ordered the customers to leave immediately as you'd expect. He also ordered the cleaners to clean the department and for us to close it whilst the did so. However the cleaner looked the manager in the face and was just like "I'm not doing that, I don't complain when I have to clean a toilet but you want me to pick her up off the floor with what? I refuse!" (Picture if you will that being said in a very thick nigerian accent, Psy think Josh Stone!) So the duty manager had to clean the entire BWS department down (she'd through like 3 of 4 aisles by the time the cleaner and manager got there) I promptly got made to go work on trolleys for some fresh air and also because I was still swearing and like "you know I can't smurfing face being on this section atm, it's making me sick just thinking about it" The trauma has never faded.

Since working for HMV I've seen an oldboy clearly with walking difficulties ask for a chair. We normally try and accomodate these requests so one of my colleagues went and got a computer chair from the stock room. Straight after sitting down the old boy just begins pissing himself all over the chair and shopfloor. We were all like "WTF DUDE NOT COOL!" especially since someone had gone and gotten the nice computer chair from the stockroom feeling generous instead of some old battered broken thing. Needless to say LPO had to clean that up and throw the new computer chair in the bin because no one would ever use it again.

When I worked in a restaurant I've seen people deliberately puke all over the toilets and tables in the past. I'm not talking about the kids who do it accidentally having stuffed their faces with the unlimited ice cream I'm talking adults who for either reasons of bullemia, reasons of trying to look big to their friends in a who can eat more contest or reasons of "this food made me sick and therefore I don't want to pay" claims have puked all over the smurfing place. I have on more than one occassion brought the cleaning products to the table and said "right you have a choice, you puked you clean it up and settle your bill before leaving or you puked I clean it up you still settle your bill except there will be a £20 extra on there for making me clean up your vomit. I leave it with you to decide" Often customers would if it was accidental clean the place up themselves and still leave a generous tip (usually a generous tip in the uk is £5/6 quid based on an average table seating 2 adults) for being kind enough to offer them a choice of avoiding the £20 bill for me cleaning it up (the bill doesn't actually exist, we're just meant to do it but I would bump the bill up by £20 anyhow and pocket it as a tip, if it was a really bad puke mess I would increase the £20 - £30 or even £40! yes I'm evil) Funny how no one ever actually got away with the "this food made me sick" line with me but then they got answered back with "food poisoning takes 24 - 48 hours to cultivate in your body, it does not make you instantly sick. So this food did not make that happen" and stuff like that