I have some worse ones, which don't compare to anything like Levian's or War Angel's, but...yeah.
Hey, it's not like I got blown up! Almost, but never quite.

Being molested repeatedly by my dad.
... is it weird that I think this is worse, 'cause you're a dude?

Family members being killed by incompetent IRA men.
Wouldn't that make them competent IRA guys? Anyway, sorry to hear that. Terrorism kinda sucks. The Irish should probably stick to alcohol and depressive literature.

When my anus itches and won't stop no matter how much I scratch it until it becomes raw and painful for like three days due to me trying to make it stop.
Real men don't stop wiping until it bleeds. Then we wipe some more, to show that $hit who's boss.