Quotes out of context

[Brennan]

Friend: "You sent us a link of Simba gettin' his freak on?"

Friend: "Disney-porn, anyone?"

Me: "HAHA, smurf NO, GTFO BEFORE I'M DISTURBED BY HORRIBLE BAMBI PENIS"

Friend: "She's kinky like that"

Friend: "Well Im off to drink vodka with elves and hunt robot zombie unicorns with Tommy Lee. We'll finish this later(:
Salutations you all"

Me: "I'm off to help Super Mario cope with his addiction to shrooms, and to tell him that if the Princess didn't have sex with him the first time he saved her, she probably isn't gonna do it the 375th time. And I'm gonna be doin...g this without a degree in Psycology, and I'll probably mess him up worse than anything, but it's all for the s n giggles, so yeah, have fun drinking and hunting, but as far as Mario knows, I'm gonna be jumping on airships, smashing goombas, kicking turtle shells, and riding an ancient extinct smurfing dinosaur named Yoshi that'll run off a cliff if he's touched by a goomba.
I'll also grow taller or shorter depending on whether I eat a shroom, or am touched by something."

Friend: "CARROT TOP OH HOW I LOVE THEE"

Me: "Mah lost Uncle Steve from Blues Clues?"

Friend: "DAMN IT, I BROKE MY BARNEY VASE"

Me: "DECAPITATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOON"

Me: " Carrot Top?
January 3, 2011 is gonna be your unlucky day!"

Friend: "C'mon! You know me! I'm cheap!"

Me: "I'm gonna start laughing hysterically at you, and I hope you don't find me and kill me before I can gather myself enough to gtfo of the way of the automatic rocket launcher you're gonna pull out of your sock."

Me: "And btw, pics or it didn't happen"

Friend: "Prasad feels uncomfortable when I fidget uncontrollably in my chair."

Me: "BTW, WE'RE DOING THIS VIA COPY/PASTE, BIYATCH"

Friend: "Brennan, you bitch!"

Me: "COPY/PASTE = GOD'S WAY OF LULZ"

Me: "SHE WON'T KILL U, JUST HOLD UP A MIRROR"

Me: "and I love the way how you called my curls lucious
Jealous, are we?
Totally jealous
I swish the carrots on my head back an forth"

Me: "why do I have the feeling that I'm gonna be murdered in my sleep?"

Friend: "Look, nine-year-old with no fashion sense and dreds, shutup!"
Me: "Nine year old? I'm OLDER THAN YOU, BISH"

Me: "Kk, time to maul Mo-Carrots with overused internet memes!!!"

All different conversations, sadly, I have entertaining friends.