To get to Heaven today I would first buy a brand new toilet seat - not one of those shabby plastic ones but the real deal, a magnificently carved wooden masterpiece. A work of art. I would take a stroll around town showing off my amazing toilet seat, in the highest of spirits. Laughing merrily with all whom I meet. Then I would discard it on the corner; this wasn't part of my get into Heaven plan, this part was just for kicks.
Now what I would have to do is go hunting. Hunting for mice. I would have to kill the mice but it's okay, religion doesn't mind about animals.
Next I would boil the seven mice, (I had a dream about tiny mice last night,) and I would use them to make a strong stew. I would then feed YOU the stew, and if your opinion is highly of the stew, that will get me bonus points.
Next I will need two volunteers to help me. Is there any here who will join me?
