SE doesn't get a pass on this. This is not their first MMO. They do have nearly 10 years of experience and have no excuses to have made the blunders they seem to have made. SE was horrible about listening to feedback in FFXI and only in the last years have they actually started listening to the playerbase and making some improvements.
Perhaps my opinion will be discounted because I haven't played FFXIV yet, but I am familiar with SE. I know their MO. They have terrible customer support and don't listen to their players. I love the flavor of FFXI and I'm sure at some point I'll enjoy FFXIV for the flavor.
There's going to be an issue of bias coming not only from people who are on a FF based forum, but also from people who bought. People are always apologists for things they pay a lot of money for so they don't have buyer's remorse.
I think expectations were generally too high for the game and it's causing a backlash. People were unrealistic in thinking it would be the perfect, most beautiful, most awesome be-all-end-all MMO. No MMO can live up to that. However, I think it's fair to say it's an unfinished project as that seems to be a point of unanimous criticism. Once again, while I think expectations shouldn't be ridiculous, they should be higher for a company that has created and run another MMO for nearly a decade. Just making it pretty isn't going to be enough.