This is something that's been preying on my mind for quite some time.
Of all your pairs of socks, what is the most extravagant? How bold are you when it comes to socks? Or are you a coward? A pathetic, snivelling coward with your plain no brand black socks. Get out.
Unfortunately, I'm part of the latter group. Maybe that's why I hate you so much...I see in you something I despise in myself. I'm sorry.