Curtis got slapped by a WHITE TEACHER!

[Roto13]

Lisa Henry Bowen, who copyrights her name and her son's name throughout the letter, kicks it off by identifying herself as the "intellectual property owner" of fourth grader Curtis Bowen (C). She alleges that Curtis was caught horse playing and was slapped by a teacher named Ms. Curry. Lisa Henry tried to report the teacher to social services for child abuse, but was denied as Curtis' skin wasn't broken.

But then!

Mrs. Bowen uses her balls-to-the-wall logic to devise a way for the school district to repay her. She claims that Curry slapped 1/4 of Curtis' "million dollar face." Therefore, Lisa Henry encloses a homemade bill for a quarter of a million dollars. The $250K bill is issued to five educational entities, so she's really demanding more than $1 million.

Curtis shall receive, among many other things: $13,500 worth of Wal-Mart gift cards, a free college education, two trips to Disney World, nine years of private tennis lessons on the Plaza, season tickets to the opera, theater, and ballet, almost a decade's worth of psychological counseling by "the best black child psychologist in the country," a whole orchestra's worth of new musical instruments, a three-week trip to Africa at a five-star hotel, and a personal audience with President Obama.

It's even less empowering when you realize that she considers her son to be her property.

EDIT: Whoops. LINK!

[Psychotic]

Someone just learned how to use Word. That's adorable.

[Old Manus]

I'd say it's only worth $800,000

[Shlup]

[Bunny]

Page 38 of 40?

What the smurf.

[Raistlin]

There really are no words. I kind of want to see the other 39 pages, but then again I probably don't.

Unfortunately what's lost here is that apparently a 3rd grade teacher hit an 8-year-old. Though I think having that mother is probably worse trauma.

[KentaRawr!]

Once he's in College, it'll be:

Curtis got slapped by EVERYONE WHO REALIZED WHO HE WAS, RATHER AGGRESSIVELY UNTIL HE DIED

[Peegee]

oh thank God it's GC

There's no external link therefore I will just say that devil man just made it up and posted it like it's fact. As usual.

[kotora]

smurfing teacher thinks she has the authority to kill a minority

[Roto13]

Oops, I forgot the link. Now everyone will think I made it up! *edits*

Bonus scans!





EDIT: Click here to visit the official Curtis Got Slapped website! Or here to hear the mother sing for you!

[kotora]

An annual $1500 gift card for Wal-mark? What does she need industrial and woodworking adhesives for?

[Meat Puppet]

I wonder how much an uppercut would cost me.

[Raistlin]

Ok, this can't be real.

[fire_of_avalon]

Hang on a second guys, I'm gonna go get a government official to slug me a good one on the jaw. When I get back, free Jamba Juice!

[Shlup]

That website. o.o