I've had the flu exactly one time and can safely say it was tied as worst sickness of my entire life with strep throat. I ached. I ached in places I didn't know had nerves to ache. I felt like my bones were grinding against one another in some struggle to free themselves from my fevered flesh. I stared at my ceiling for hours willing my eyeballs to burst from the furnace my body had become, willing my lungs to come up in pieces from the coughing so they could hurt me no long nor continually fill with the fluid that made me feel as if I were drowning on dry land.

I rarely pity anyone, but your current plight makes me frowny face.

*insert joke about "Come to foa, I'll make it all better"*