define best. I never know which to tell. The sex on the beach story or the stalking druggies..ok that one:

So after a night of clubbing with friends one of them take my keys and say they will come back for me. On hindsight it was probably so they can sex in my car. So I'm hanging out in the street corner until another friend sees me. She suggests I bum a cab ride to her place where I depart to stumble home.

On the way home a bunch of kids pass me and ask if they can score stuff off me. I tell them I'm empty and finally get my bearings. A minute later I realize my odd behaviour may have motivated them to follow me - let this be a lesson to those of you wont to parkour over baseball fields while out of your mind

I didn't want to lead them home so I decided to detour to a coffee shop. By now I was on a field where to my right was my house and the left was the coffee shop. So I head to the left..right into the bog.

I had forgotten you were her you sneaky bog! Now soaking wet I would not be welcomed anywhere. So I head home.

ps: bonus points for those of you who read this crap: who has my keys? I cursed myself and reached for my phone that was on my dresser,,ffuuuuu. I resigned to sleeping on our deck. This worked for a few minutes until the rain woke me up.

At this point I finally try the back door which opened. Exhausted I passed out on the floor until my roommates came home after calling my phone a thousand times.

I remember babbling about my favorite person Tara Kroes as I was taken upstairs. This story is for you.