On Schoolies I got drunk and shut myself in a closet where I serenaded myself. There was also these two army dudes who were visiting a friend of mine and we went down to the beach and Army Dude 2 was like "oh man I'll go hit this guy in the back of the head and then you finish him off and we'll run away". The buff army guy wants me to "finish him off"... right. He also told me to go swimming but I couldn't walk straight.