I want to have children one day, but I don't want the first 4 years of them. Those are just annoying.
Adopt.
No just lock them into a closet for the first 4 years. Just make sure to shove them their food through a lid a few times a day and you're set.
This twenty-year-old boy was distinguished from childhood by strange qualities, a dreamer and an eccentric. A girl fell in love with him, and he went and sold her to a brothel...