Saints is still not out in Britain 'til Friday because God hates us. As such, me and Dan have been giving Stilwater a farewell tour, consisting of:

  • Pimp baseball! Pimps were thrown by Dan into an empty train car, where I was waiting with a sledgehammer.This caused 30-40 pimps to spawn on our heads. It was brutal.
  • Luxury yacht racing! We found two huge ships and decided to ram them into each other to try to sink the other. Then we drove them onto a beach.
  • Pimped out ATVs and drove them on the train tracks. Shenanigans ensued when my kneecappers shredded Dan's wheels and turned his ATV into a Delorean.
  • Destroyed two nightclubs with the use of musical instruments.
  • Declared a large metal container to be my house, after we both attempted to pimp slap the other into it. Dan then helpfully provided me with garbage and crackheads to play with.
  • KILLED FIREMEN.
  • We finally turned friendly fire off and set a custom playlist to Ride of the Valykries. We took to the skies - Dan in a triplane, myself in a biplane. It was utterly pissing it down and the sky was totally brown. In a spectacle ruining incident, on the first pass we collided and this took off dan's wings on the right side of his plane. Amazingly he kept it airborne, even though I then chased him down and loaded his poor battered plane with bullets, causing bits to fly off. He successfully landed it too, only for me to kamikaze into it.

Steve, this is why you are inferior. You will never know such fun in your life. Enjoy your "Modarn Warfare" you ponce!