Ace Reporter Jiro's Elections Coverage - IMPORTANT UPDATE!

[Jiro]

While your favourite Ace Reporter, like so many other EoFFers, was getting stone cold smashed to celebrate the wonder that is St Patrick's Day, thieves broke into the General Square Enix forum's Poké Mart.

The culprits took off with numerous empty pokéballs. They also tipped over the shelves just to be complete dicks.

Officer Jenny reported that nothing else had been stolen, but the identities of the thieves are still unknown. Updates as they come.

In other news, your esteemed Ace Reporter was stalked while partying with friends and a grumpy old neighbour accused him of urinating on his neighbour's lawn. These accusations are actually quite false and I cannot believe how completely wrong this guy was, and I was the drunk one.

But it was a good night all round. Apart from the break-in. What jerks. Probably in league with that twat of a stalker dude. - ED- This is blatant defamation. We're hear to tell news, not gain lawsuits.

[Loony BoB]

Where's the news article on voter turnout?

[escobert]

I VOTED! (this is a very rare ting for me xD)

[Christmas]

I caught up with Poké Party leader Pokékeeper for an exclusive interview regarding PsychoticWalrein's decision to join his party. He was hesitant at first, but eager for his party to get its voice heard. After some prodding he agreed.



Jiro: What sort of effect do you think this will have on your party?

Pokékeeper: I was delighted to see that PsychoticWalrein knew that he couldn't go wrong by following his heart and decided to join the PokéParty. We all know Walrein is a tough, hardy Pokémon, and I do believe that his use of Sheer Cold, Blizzard and Encore will help push our party through these elections.

J: Has there been any indication that PsychoticWalrein will contest the leadership of the Poké Party?

P: No such discussion has taken place as of yet, but as PsychoticWalrein put it himself, our dream has always been to fight arm in arm.

J: Would you be happy to play the Swan to his Gillard, as it were?

P: It's rather unorthodox for a Pokémon to lead a person, but no matter where our destiny leads, I'll be there for EoFF, always come through. And that you can believe.

J: So do you think the Poké Party has what it takes to win the election?

P: At first I had my doubts, but now that we've got moving, I know we're gonna make it through. The Poké Party was born to be a winner, born to be a champion, born to be the very best.

J: Thank you for your time, and good luck!

Can we have more reports with pictures please?

I really like this one with all the fancy pictures.

[Timekeeper]

As leader of the PokéParty, I will do what I can to provide more photos like these, though I'm not sure how many more costumes I can just make up on the spot!

[Vyk]

I VOTED! (this is a very rare ting for me xD)

Ditto

[Jiro]

An inside source in Election Booth's office has confirmed that the voting turn out was quite poor in the preliminary elections. The source, who wished to remain anonymous because spouting confidential information is a bit of a dick move, said that they're expecting more voters when the decisive vote arrives.

"People just give a when they feel like they can make a bigger impact," he said.

"With the prelims, we lose a couple parties, no big deal really. But when the smurfing presi- I mean prime minister gets thrown up on the pedestal, you wanna make sure it's not some smurfwit who doesn't know Final Fantasy from smurfing Teriyaki Chicken Adventures."

This lack of voters may have contributed to heavyweights the 501st Legion bowing out of the competition earlier than they would have liked. While Election Booth confirmed it was the 501st party members who were "dragging the chain", party leader Mandalore the Guardian confessed he just wasn't in it this year.

"Sorry fellas, I didn't do too great of a job hyping us up or bugging people to join like last year," he said.

"Next time the 501st rolls into town we won't flop faster than all the SW fanboys when Jar Jar Binks made his appearance. "

Keep an eye out for them next year as they return with more knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force.

[Jiro]

Citizens of Eyes on Final Fantasy, I you not, this is the highpoint in my investigative journalism career. I have obtained secret documents which prove that Election Booth is a filthy smurfing liar!

As you can see in the below photo, Election Booth's personal diary entry states his intentions to rig the election in the JLI's favour! There is no doubt that something is very amiss here, ladies and gentlemen.

Full Diary


Zoom In


There is no excuse for this sort of behaviour. Election Booth should be sacked and imprisoned for election fraud. Who knows how many elections have been decided on his whim!

But it isn't just the intent I can prove. No, I had the official vote count here in my hot little hands, and I have photographed them as proof.

Official Vote Tally


You can see here the aptly titled "Official Vote Count" with Election Booth's notes underneath. They read "I'm not a real fan of the Poké Party so I think I'll smudge the results a bit in favour of those sexy beasts the JLI"! Okay well, paraphrased I guess.

Citizens of EoFF, this is an outrage. However, through my skills as an Ace Reporter, I have brought you the true winners of the Eyes on Final Fantasy 2011 election. As you can see by the official vote count, the true winners are The Poké Party! Shower them with your praise. Congratulations, Poké Party, and well done to the runners up. It was a worthy contest, despite unscrupulous meddling.

Congratulations Prime Minister Pokékeeper. May you lead us well.

So until next time, gentle readers, this is Ace Reporter Jiro saying, damn you look sexy EoFF.

[G13]

True justice has been served his day!

[NorthernChaosGod]

Almost as true as if served by a Fist!

[Jiro]

I just hope people actually read the news, otherwise we're in for a world of confusion.

[escobert]

Either way my party lost and I call nonsense!

[o_O]

Either way, the TRUE power of EoFF is in the hand of the Poké Party..... We shall rule from the shadows, like an elusive Gengar.

[NorthernChaosGod]

The only way to decide for sure is to start over.

[Madonna]

Jiro, without your intuitive sleuthing, I do not know how the future would have turned out. The corruption surely would have spread, and the lies and deceit could only have piled upon themselves more and more. It takes a strong hunch and nose to track down the facts as you have done. I know Election Booth deserves a lot of recognition for running this show turned side, but I think the Most Valuable Player has been you, Jiro. A big thanks from the new Deputy Minister of EoFF to you.