Ace Reporter Jiro's Elections Coverage - IMPORTANT UPDATE!

[Jiro]

I saw BoB post about wanting a roving reporter. I'm a trainee reporter. I've worked for an online paper (EoFF Paper) and an offline paper (GCNews). I CAN DO THIS. Especially because being in a party isn't my thang. TAP4lyf.

So here's the deal. I'll post my thoughts on the way these elections are playing out, and you people will enjoy it. It'll be like a catalogue of everything that happens!



So, to start us off, we're now at about the 34 hour mark since the elections began, and already we've seen quite a few parties appear. First on the scene was the Cactuar Party, which has since changed its name and appears to like cactuars and hemp tacos equally. Heavyweights the 501st Legion have returned from last year's elections. It will interesting to see how they fare this year after defeat in the final vote count.

This year also sees the return of some old favourites: The Newbie Party, headed by Loony BoB once more; and the Justice League of the Internet, orchestrated by none other than Super Delete! It is a particularly momentous day for this young reporter indeed.

There has been a lot of campaigning by the ever persistent Hypoallergenic Cactuar, who is determined to carry a strong unit forward into the next round. In other threads, thelivingvillain, arch nemesis of theundeadhero, has been seen trolling other parties, expressing his plans for utter victory.

Stay tuned for more news as it happens.

[Jiro]

Eyes on Final Fantasy member Timekeeper has entered his new party, the Poké Party, into this year's election. Timekeeper was unsuccessful last year, merging his party into the 501st Legion. Without his support, will the 501st Legion still manage to perform as well?

The party seems big on racial equality. Does EoFF have underlying segregation problems? We'll soon see!

There isn't much news from the Poké Party's head office, but rest assured gentle readers, I, Ace Reporter Jiro, will bring you the news as soon as it arrives.

[Psychotic]

"Ace"?

Are you affiliated with Proto? I'm onto you! This biased media will not stand!

[escobert]

I only watch Newbie News!

[Jiro]

I am not affiliated with Agent Proto, only the Aceness which he stands for. I assure you, the tabloid news is coming soon, but for now I am completely independent and fair.

There is an exposé on a very prominent party leader coming up shortly, be excited for the first news round tomorrow. My tomorrow. Weirdos.

I will be accepting story ideas and also perhaps guest articles if anyone is interest. Inbox me babe.

[Agent Proto]

Ace is an ace adjective to use. You see, Phoenix Wright is an Ace Attorney, Cid himself is also ace! So Jiro declaring himself Ace Reporter is A-ok with me!

[Jiro]

News never sleeps; that's my motto. But unfortunately, a one-man-band like myself has to sleep. So, to keep you in good stead before I return with the latest news, I have a special article guest written by a special man.

Hello, dear readers! It's me, your president! I'm here with a lovely history lesson. Some of you may have noticed the JLI and the Newbie Party and wonder to yourselves... who are they? It has been fully 5 years since either one of them has taken to the field of battle in an election, in the ill-fated election of 2006. Truly, it was shaping up to be an epic contest, contested by some absolute heavyweights, and nobody knew who would actually win!

• TUTU - the Totally Unfunny, Totally Unoriginal Party
• The Hot Air Balloons Are Actually Pretty Neat Party
• The Fat Chocobos
• The Justice League Unlimited
• The Newbie Party
• The Fluffy Pink Party
• The Pirate Red Mage Party

TUTU
Led by your current president, TUTU was a party based on the glorification of unfunny memes, and carried on the age-old tradition that the whole point of the elections was to spam the crap out of the place.

The Hot Air Balloons Are Actually Pretty Neat Party
Led by themagicroundabout and RSL, this was led by two of the nicest EoFFers of all time, and their party reflected this, being the most friendly of all the parties in the election.

The Fat Chocobos
Carrying on from the success of the #eoff in the last election (who, of course, did not deserve to win because they had less votes than BAoTW and I am not still bitter about that 6 years on or anything!) the Fat Chocobos emerged from the chatroom, led by Neel and Marick, as a family friendly restaurant. The name came from one of the gangs in the recent Gang Wars, who cheated and unfairly killed Psychotic despite his clear message before the massacre that he did not wish to attend the fateful meeting (I am not still bitter about that 5 years on or anything!)

The Justice League Unlimited
A late entry to the elections, but they quickly gathered momentum as a very unique and fun party. Led by superhero Super Delete and heroine Palindroma, they started the name change quest and gained ground fast on the other parties.

The Newbie Party
After winning the elections in 2004, despite having less votes than BAoTW (7 years on and I'm...oh you know the drill) and forming an offshoot called the #eoff party in 2005, the Newbies, led once again by Loony BoB, took more of a quieter role in this election, but still had a strong presence.

The Fluffy Pink Party
After fourth place in 2005, Fluffy Pink, led by boris no no, were back once again, trying hard to bring pinkness and justice to the forums.

The Pirate Red Mages
A brand new party led by Captain Maxx Power, who was filled with a crew of merry men who all took up positions in the ship. They all showed a remarkable bond of togetherness and loyalty to each other and their cap'n, and were proud underdogs.

As the titanic showdown drew ever closer, something terrible happened!

Election Booth disappeared off the face of the Earth and we had to cancel the elections! We will never know who would have won such a colossal battle, but maybe it was for the best. We all still had fun taking part, after all!

Election Booth sent me a really nice apology PM too

Thank you for your contribution to the most comprehensive election coverage out there! I will see you fresh and early for the next news cycle! Stay classy, EoFF.

[I Don't Need A Name]

A member of the original 501st has turned reporter!? Someone from the Empire got a real job!? What is wrong with the world!?

[theundeadhero]

Weirdo? You're calling me a weirdo? There's nothing wrong with people that have an ungodly fear of orange soda. If anything, you're the weirdo for drinking it!

[escobert]

Ah I wish the Fat Chocobos would re-unite. We would rule the world!

[Freya]

No mention of the princess party. You guys are decks. ;-;

[Hollycat]

update- see the original post for members
of my party
more incoming as we speak

[Jiro]

With just under 24 hours left in the first stage of the election, your Ace Reporter is here to give a quick recap on the parties still in the race.

First up we have the Newbie Party. Lead by the eternal newbie Loony BoB, who is still sporting the traditional newbie avatar from the very beginnings of EoFF. The Newbie Party has a strong memberbase, but is lacking in newbie numbers. Will their campaign draw support from the new members of EoFF?

Next is the Poké Party. The youngest party, leader Timekeeper has quickly gathered two supporters to his cause. However, he still needs another member to be able to enter the next stage of the elections. Will he be able to catch 'em all?

The Cactuar and Hemp Taco Party was the first party to announce its participation this year, and leader Hypoallergenic Cactuar has garnered the largest and most diverse memberbase of all the parties. But will the party thrive in what is many of the members' first election outing?

The EVIL HOAK HOGAN BASHING ULTIMATE WARRIOR PARETY!, led by The Ultimate Warrior, seems to be heading for failure. Though The Ultimate Warrior has strong ideals, it seems he has yet been unable to summon any members to his side.

The The Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys Party is another party that looks to be floundering. With only two members, leader Laddy looks set to bow out of this election. Will their superior dress sense save them?

The Princess Party is a small party launched by Freya, focusing on all things Disney Princesses. They currently have only four members, but there is a discrepancy with certain members allegiances, so they might well fold yet!

The Justice League of the Internet Unlimited is a returning party, led by the powerful Super Delete. Combined with the efforts of the Brotherhood of Elitists, will the JLI be able to return to glory and defend EoFF?

The 501st Legion is the final party, and is certainly the heavyweight coming into this election. Returning from last year's success, the 501st Legion has the support of a number of popular EoFF citizens. Will their popularity transfer into election success?

We will find out which parties continue onwards and which ones fold in 24 hours! Ace Reporter Jiro signing out.

[Jiro]

The 501st Legion. From humble beginnings in 2010, they grew quickly into a superpower in the EoFF elections. Spearheaded by Mandalore the Guardian, the 501st Legion gained the support of numerous factions, absorbing several parties to create a conglomerate. The 501st Legion was not a party for the weak of heart, mind, or Force: it had strict regulations and each party member toed the line.

Some of the 501st Legion's key policies in 2010:
- Droid rights
- Death Star memorial
- War on Jedi terror
- Crackdown on drugs, incl. Death Sticks

This year, the 501st Legion has a revised set of policies. The most notable of these is the omission of a drug policy, attributed to the influence of the Apocalypse Party, which was absorbed following their demise in the 2010 elections. This backflip may well throw some of the more conservative citizens off side.

Another missing policy is anything regarding the Jedi terrorists. While the party voiced a strict no-jedi policy, Mandalore the Guardian encouraged known Jedi sympathiser fire_of_avalon (also known as foabi wan) to join the party.

In addition, the 501st Legion has adopted a "newbie friendly" policy after rival party the Newbie Party entered the elections. This party has a strong pro-newbie policy and no doubt threatens each and every party looking to bolster their numbers with fresh blood.

What can be behind these policy changes? There are signs, but this young reporter has decided to look deeper, look past the obvious. Mandalore the Guardian, leader of the 501st Legion as he may be, also has an equal: Julbacca. Is it possible that this inseparable duo are having differences, causing a power struggle within the mighty 501st Legion?

Let's look at the facts. Both Julbacca and Mandalore come from a long line of proud peoples. The Wookies of Kashyyyk are a race of mighty warriors, and fought valiantly during the Clone Wars. However they were then an oppressed people, being sold as slaves for manual labour and hunted as sport. Julbacca is a survivor and he has a body count longer than his fur coat. Mandalore is the same; a bounty hunter, the single clone who was raised normally by his father, he now stands as the most powerful mandalorian in the galaxy. These two mighty warriors, determined to be the best ever, have no doubt fought to try and decide the stronger between them.

There is also the fact that Julbacca may or may not have leaked the original Death Star plans while drunk in the cantina. As a former member of the Legion, I feel I am qualified to say that things are tense in the Legion camp, and the rift between these two might be growing. Or perhaps, as one anonymous person suggested, they are actually secret lovers and their hidden affair is causing a strain on their public lives.

Time will tell, and you can be assured that I, Ace Reporter Jiro, will be there to capture every moment of it for you.

[o_O]

I want daily audio coverage of this election. Recorded in a horse-racing commentator's voice.