Preliminary Voting Results! [and next tasks!]

[Election Booth]

"The Warrior of Light is watching over these elections, so don't piss him off."

Ladies and gentlemen, quinas and pupus, the first voting round is closed and results are in! After painstakingly double checking, triple checking and then quadruple checking just because I like the number four, we have the parties going through to the next round.

Now, previously (and just to add suspense) it was a two-party race. Last year exemplified this. There were a number of large parties and they all eventually folded to yield just two super powers. But when you only have two sides of a coin, you miss out on the edge. So, EoFF, this year we're bringing back the edge.

The parties going through to the next stage are:

• Justice League of the Internet Unlimited
• The Poké Party
• The Newbie Party

That's right. Three of you suckers. This should change the dynamic a tad, shouldn't it?

But we must respectfully acknowledge the efforts of the other three parties. They have done a lot in the pursuit of power and we thank them for making this a more enjoyable occasion! This goes out to you, Princess Party, Cactuar Hemp Taco Party and 501st Legion. We love you guys!

I want to see those smear campaigns continuing strongly, but it's time for your next two tasks.


The Minister for Foreign Affairs: your job is to choose one website on the internet with which to merge, invade or destroy. EoFF needs more power! You must provide justification, and a strategy for actually doing so. Your battle plan is to be sent to me via mognet message!

The Treasurer: your job is to design a "Get Rich Quick" scheme for EoFF so that it can become an independent entity. EoFF has been owned by a non-Cid for too long, it's time to take it back for the people! The only requirement for this task is that it is awesome. Mognet message it to me when you're done.

Both tasks are hereby given 48 hours to complete.


As for the Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister, you will be getting tasks in roughly 25 hours. This humble Election Booth has another event to attend to, but there will be an opportunity to inform you all of your missions!

Fun fact: All three of our top parties scored the same number of votes. That's a tight race if ever I saw one! This would be true if it wasn't for ICEGLOW'S VOTE AT THE LAST MINUTE FFFFFUUUUU. But seriously, tight race or what.

[Vyk]

Haha that last bit amuses me

Poor 501st Legion. Come join us for Tacos at the losers table We've got girls! (And supposedly they're princesses~)

[kotora]

Looks like we're not done delivering our share of unlimited justice yet.

[YunaTidus]

Wow, I was expecting close. But...not that close XD That is indeed, amusing.

Congratulations to the victorious, and I salute the fallen. Let the games begin!

Also, awesome banner! To quote Bartz, "Let the light shine upon us!....Or whatever."

[Madonna]

Edit: Remember to vote early, and vote often! Thank you, second accounts!

[Psychotic]

Wesley Plimpington was a normal and mild-mannered young man. However, with the tragic events in Japan in 2011, he was bitten by a radioactive fundie, after the radiation, believed to be no more harmful than a sneeze, spread to his home state of Maryland.

The fundie bite gave Wesley the power of LOGIC! Of SCIENCE! Of ARGUING and NOT STOPPING until all opponents have GOTTEN BORED! He became....

ATHEIST DORK!

With his sidekick, Shoeshine Boy, Atheist Dork patrols the internet, purging the illogical, crushing their logical fallacies and smashing their strawmen, until all recognise his superiority.

In his latest adventure, after a falling out with Shoeshine Boy, Atheist Dork is lured by a sultry temptress, Palindroma of the JLI. But what does her boyfriend, Super Delete think of the love of his life hooking up with a sworn rival?! And will actually getting laid cause our hero to lose his powers and stop being the mighty Atheist Dork?!?

Find out in Atheist Dork Issue 58 on sale, now!

[NorthernChaosGod]

Thanks for all the love and support, bitches!

The planet-destroying laser beam shall be arriving shortly.

[qwertysaur]

Election booth said the race was really close, so you probably fed one too many newbies to the sarlaac.

Also this banner looks fantastic

[escobert]

Woohoo Newbie Party!

[Agent Proto]

How about that, the JLI prevails!

[Iceglow]

[CENTER]
Fun fact: All three of our top parties scored the same number of votes. That's a tight race if ever I saw one! This would be true if it wasn't for ICEGLOW'S VOTE AT THE LAST MINUTE FFFFFUUUUU. But seriously, tight race or what.

What can I say I'm the 11th hour ice breaker!

[NorthernChaosGod]

smurfing eleventh hour super power, dick.

[Remon]

Poké party, I choose you!

[Timekeeper]

Good to have your support Remon, the PokéParty has room for all sorts!

[Psychotic]

BREAKING NEWS: SICK SCIENTIST LOONY BOB CONDUCTS DEPRAVED EXPERIMENTS ON NEWBIE PARTY MEMBERS?!

After last week's report about Loony BoB attempting to sell drugs to unsuspecting newbies, our top man, Genius Lynx, decided to see just how far the rabbit hole goes. What he found shocked him to the core, and he barely escaped with his life to bring you this fantastic image.

Deep within his foul lair, the wicked scientist Loony BoB has the poor members of the Newbie Party under his thrall. Pictured, we can carry him carrying out depraved experiments on Flying Arrow, Christmas, ScottyRedXIII, Shaibana, and boris no no.

It seems the entire Newbie Party was a front, designed to lure naive and trusting members into the spider's web, so that his disgusting urges and manaical fantasies could be carried out.

With the Newbie Party apparent favourites in the election, I must now make this appeal to neutral voters. Do you really want to allow, nay, endorse, a regime such as this one? Do you really want your Prime Minister to be a sick modern day Dr Mengele? Do you really want Team Rocket to swoop in and steal all of your Pokémon?

Do the right thing. Vote Poké Party, before the world is consumed by Loony "Giovanni" BoB's vile ego.