Let it be known that the Poképarty stands for all that is just and all that is true. This means that we are the sworn enemy of all purveyors of BULL
. And one Bull
purveyor which must be brought down is FOX NEWS. Yes, that's right, we're going straight for the grand chancellor of Bull
purveyors 'cos that how we
roll. Of course there will be several obstacles along the way, not least of which will henceforth be called Phase 1: How to convince the biggest purveyor of Bull
in the world to join forces with the world's biggest Final Fantasy site. Well, the answer is, in fact, much simpler than you might think.
Phase 1 - Cutting off the head of the dragon
There is a one word answer to this problem:
Akumaou812. Or
Joel, for those that joined after the Akumaou812 era. Or
Our Expansive Mascot to those who never had the fortune of knowing Joel. The process is as follows:
- Send him to the Fox News HQ, claiming he's invented nuclear fusion. Fox News, being purveyors of Bull, will not research him, and will put him straight into a prime time slot.
- While he's en route, send an email to Bill O'Reilly, which says Joel refuses to speak to anyone who a) likes Slipknot b) likes Chun Li.
- Bill O'Reilly, during the interview, mentions offhand how Slipknot are responsible for 90% of the evil in the world and Chun Li is responsible for the other 15% (you can't explain that), and...
- Joel enters Jude Khanzo mode, and rampages througout the studio, killing the prominent members of staff.
- This leaves the malleable underlings who will submit to our will, for fear of being eaten.
Phase 2 - Combining forces with the headless body
We shall instate our REAL reporters; Jiro being the first and we'll run with that for a while. During Phase 2, our primary concern is to integrate the two websites. Unfortunately, the Fox website will still contain a lot of Bull
, so we'll have to incorporate it until we have the manpower to change it. I've incorporated a screenshot of the website during Phase 2.
Click to see EoFF during Phase 2:
Phase 3 - The EoFF-Fox News dragon-chimera baby is born.
- With our figureheads having a strong foothold, all remaining Fox staff will be fired. This includes all reporters, anchors, journalists, cameramen and caterers.
- This means Jiro will be required to take over the journalistic responsibilities of all former Fox journalists; fortunately he's a very hard-working young man.
- Shiny will also be responsible for all camera work. I foresee Shiny and Jiro forming a strong friendship during this time.
- Slowly, but surely, the Bull to Good ratio will decrease, as the old Fox News content is removed and replaced by real news.
- Joel will become the new mascot of Fox News. This will frighten people into watching. We will be ruling with fear.
Finally, we will not report on fat people blaming McDonald's for their girth. And we won't report on anyone who uses the phrase "You can't explain that."