Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar......................and doesn't!
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar......................and doesn't!
i dnt get itOriginally Posted by Caboose
Schrödinger's cat - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediai dnt get it
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"
For some reason I get the idea that Bleys doesn't care for priests.
Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
When I grow up, I want to go toBovineTrump University! - Ralph Wiggum
I just love priest jokes. I've got some that aren't anti-Catholic, but they're not awful either:
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness can't help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all.
The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides. The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do.
So the Pope says to the Queen, "Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day and rejoice - they will recount it to their grandchildren and they to their descendants."
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me."
So the Pope slapped her.
That doesn't make me anti-Monarchy. In fact, if you frakk with my Queen, I will take you down.
hahahahaha bleys!! that was a genius one =D Lmao
Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila says, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barks, "WHAT did you say?"
"A prostitute!" Sheila repeats.
Sister Catherine breathes a sigh of relief and says, "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant!"
xD
I like Kung-Fu.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
(SPOILER)Christopher Walken
aaaahahha =D
A man stands in from of the mirror making 'bodybuilder poses'
he strikes a pose: ' Like dynamite!!' he says
when his wife walks by and says: ' to bad it has such a short fuse'
... danm im bad at telling jokes
^^^^^Well that means this thread is all you.
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain. No one will run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
(SPOILER)Unless it'll load the bases, you walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.
and now a long one.......and it's pretty ridiculous.
The Pope was on a tour of the United States and instead of flying from city to city he was riding by car. The Pope-mobile to be precise.
The Pope-mobile was out in west Texas where it's long and flat with nothing but sage brush and oil rigs. They'd left one security detail in Dallas and were to meet the next escort in Arizona, so it was just the Pope and his driver.
The Pope mentioned how he'd never had a chance to drive a car before. He asked the driver to switch places with him. The driver couldn't really say no. It's the Pope! So he climbed up in the little dome, and the Pope started driving.
He was getting more comfortable, and started picking up a good bit of speed. The road was straight and wide. So soon he was cruising at 85-90mph.
A Texas state trooper clocked him and pulled him over. The Trooper walked up to the car, looked at the Pope, turned pale, and walked back to his car.
He radioed dispatch.
Troooper, "Dispatch, I think I've pulled over some one really important. I don't even know if they're in my jurisdiction."
Dispatch, "Who did you pull? One of the local mayors?"
Trooper, "No, way more important."
Dispatch, "So the governor? Who is it?"
Trooper, "No it's not the governor. I'm not sure who it is."
Dispatch, "Well how the hell do you know they're important?"
Trooper, "I can't recognize him, but I know he has to be someone really important. He has the Pope driving for him........"
a cha cha cha!!!!!
Last edited by sharkythesharkdogg; 05-11-2011 at 02:51 AM.
updated with new, lame joke!
A cloud of helium floats into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry sir, but we don't server noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
(SPOILER)Nacho Cheese.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
