And now boys and girls, gather 'round for a fable my father told me when I was around 7 or so.

It was an incredibly frigid winter day. There was a relentless, dry, biting wind cutting through the air and the whole world appeared empty and white. A lone blue bird was trying desperately to migrate south, but had been caught by surprise of the early winter. Now she struggled desperately to fly against the cold, steady wind. Her strength draining, and her resolve almost out, she collapsed in a snowy field and waited for death. Her vision narrowed, her body grew numb, and she began to drift into darkness.

As it happened, she'd landed near a cow. It picked that opportunity to lay a cow pie right on top of the poor bird. Everything but her head and neck was now covered in manure. How could it get worse?

She sat and mourned her fate, but then noticed that she was getting warmer. The manure was warm! How joyous! From absolute despair came a small ray of hope! If she could wait out this storm in the warm cow pie she might have enough strength to fly the rest of the way!

Unable to contain her happiness in her sudden good fortune, she began to sing her happy little blue bird song. Her breath frosted in the air as she merrily warbled.

A hawk, lean and starving from the slim winter meals, noticed the commotion. In a fell swoop it dove and grabbed the little bird from the manure. She was unceremoniously devoured and eaten.

So the moral of the story is this. Just because someone puts you up to your neck in bull***t, doesn't absolutely mean they're your enemy. Just because someone pulls you out of a big pile a bull***t, it doesn't mean they're your friend.

Knowledge nuggets from your family are the best.