The Awful Joke Thread

[Shaibana]

When u say my name.. im no longer there..
Who am i?

(SPOILER)Silence

p.s heard this one @ the move La vita e bella =D found m genius

[Remon]

How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?
(SPOILER)From a catalog

[Jiro]

sharky's pope-mobile joke is one of the best things ever.

[VexNet]

I have some cheese jokes.

• What's the best cheese to get a bear down from a tree? (SPOILER)Camembert
  
• What's the best cheese to hide a small horse? (SPOILER)Mascapone
  
• What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? (SPOILER)Nacho Cheese
  

[Jiro]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
(SPOILER)Nacho Cheese.

I have some cheese jokes.

• What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? (SPOILER)Nacho Cheese
  

[Remon]

He's on topic XD

[Shaibana]

.. i dont get the cheese-jokes

[Citizen Bleys]

This fellow comes to confession.
"Father, he said, "forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," the fellow replied.
"Tell me about it," the priest said.
The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the door opened and there stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds. She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her perfect figure, and she asked if I would like to come in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted. Oh, how I lusted," replied the man.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, father? What do you think my reward might be?" the fellow asked.
The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would be appropriate, you jackass."

[Shaibana]

This fellow comes to confession.
"Father, he said, "forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," the fellow replied.
"Tell me about it," the priest said.
The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the door opened and there stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds. She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her perfect figure, and she asked if I would like to come in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted. Oh, how I lusted," replied the man.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, father? What do you think my reward might be?" the fellow asked.
The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would be appropriate, you jackass."

i dont get it 100%.. now i feel stupid

[sharkythesharkdogg]

^^ Even the priest was calling the guy a moron for not taking advantage of the situation with the hot blonde. The joke is that the even the priest knew it was something too good to pass up.

[Shaibana]

i got that part but.. whats with the bale of hay?

[sharkythesharkdogg]

The priest called him a jackass. A jackass is slang for someone who's being an idiot. A jackass is also basically a burro or a donkey. Donkeys eat hay.

[Shaibana]

Ya sure.. but so do Horses and rabbits and guinea pigs..
so it doesnt make that much sense to me becaus hay is not specifike to 1 animal

[sharkythesharkdogg]

jokes are hard to translate across language barriers.

The point is really that even the priest new it was a situation too good to pass up. A Priest. The guy who's supposed to be above temptations of the flesh. The added zing was the fact that the priest told the guy his reward in heaven was a bail of hay, because he was a jackass. Sure more than one type of animal eats hay, but so what? So do jackasses. You're focusing too much on the wrong details. Shrug. No biggie, you either get it or you don't. These jokes are all terrible anyway, so you're not missing too much.

[Remon]

Moving on...


What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
(SPOILER)Laughing stock.