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Thread: Soccer is a pansy sport.

  1. #16
    Nobody's Hero Cuchulainn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Nothing can help me care about soccer. Oh, ‘it’s the most popular sport in the world.’ Probably because it’s cheap to play. It costs a ball. Once every four years, America pretends to care about it. And yes, I call it ‘soccer.’ Don’t correct me because I don’t care what they call it in other lands — I speak America.

    Sorry world, we already have football and it’s way better. It’s supposed to be played by 300 pound men eight seconds at a time, not five-foot, six-inch fairies lightly jogging for three hours, or however long your game is…buy a scoreboard!

    It’s hard for me to get into a sport that I mastered at the age of seven. Excuse me for not being able to get revved up for this corner kick that never works. Hooray! The game ends without a single goal. I want to kill myself when an NBA team doesn’t break a hundred. That’s because you don’t get a free taco.

    Maybe there would be more scoring if they weren’t flopping all of the time. And hooligans, instead of killing players that screwed up, murder the ones that fall down crying because their toe got stepped on.

    The only good thing about soccer is the movie “Ladybugs.” That’s a classic. Don’t try to re-do it, Hollywood. I love women’s soccer. It’s a beautiful game, and America is actually good at it. Probably because we’re the only country that allows women to wear shorts.

    It’s nice to have an activity that terrorist countries can excel at. Enjoy your 15 minutes, Algeria. Then go back to being number one at car bombs. But just know that the only reason you’re beating us is because our best athletes are busy playing real sports. You think LeBron James might make an okay goalie? Oh, and good move, giving us Beckham ten years past his prime. That really panned out.
    A wall of complete bull. yay.

  2. #17
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    I like both basketball and soccer in particular. Both reward strategy, athleticism, and are very acrobatic.

    Soccer is the beautiful game. You don't have to like it, but if there's a gay sport it's the one with ripped man having dryhump orgies.



  3. #18
    Phantasmal Killer Værn's Avatar
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    I pay pretty much no attention at all to sports, so all I have to say about soccer is...

    I have no idea who decided that American football should be called football here and real football should be called soccer. Real football should be called football and American football should be called American rugby. Out of everything I know about sports, how things got renamed in America annoys me more than anything else, followed closely by how obsessed people around here are with cars turning left at 200 MPH for hours on end.
    Also, this.


  4. #19
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Nothing can help me care about soccer. Oh, ‘it’s the most popular sport in the world.’ Probably because it’s cheap to play. It costs a ball. Once every four years, America pretends to care about it. And yes, I call it ‘soccer.’ Don’t correct me because I don’t care what they call it in other lands — I speak America.

    Sorry world, we already have football and it’s way better. It’s supposed to be played by 300 pound men eight seconds at a time, not five-foot, six-inch fairies lightly jogging for three hours, or however long your game is…buy a scoreboard!

    It’s hard for me to get into a sport that I mastered at the age of seven. Excuse me for not being able to get revved up for this corner kick that never works. Hooray! The game ends without a single goal. I want to kill myself when an NBA team doesn’t break a hundred. That’s because you don’t get a free taco.

    Maybe there would be more scoring if they weren’t flopping all of the time. And hooligans, instead of killing players that screwed up, murder the ones that fall down crying because their toe got stepped on.

    The only good thing about soccer is the movie “Ladybugs.” That’s a classic. Don’t try to re-do it, Hollywood. I love women’s soccer. It’s a beautiful game, and America is actually good at it. Probably because we’re the only country that allows women to wear shorts.

    It’s nice to have an activity that terrorist countries can excel at. Enjoy your 15 minutes, Algeria. Then go back to being number one at car bombs. But just know that the only reason you’re beating us is because our best athletes are busy playing real sports. You think LeBron James might make an okay goalie? Oh, and good move, giving us Beckham ten years past his prime. That really panned out.

    QFT as spoken by God Himself.

    AS someone who grew up in a Soccer household (my brothers and father all played Soccer in College) I can't stand the sport. at least in hockey you get to hit people. when I played as a youth they'd always kick me out for slide tackling and . So, I played football where I got to hit people and have fun all the time!

  5. #20
    Nobody's Hero Cuchulainn's Avatar
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    Heres a thing you yanks dont seem to fathem. We do not watch sport to see violence. We watxh it to see skill, technique & passion. smurf knows I see enough violence as it is. Football is an escape. For 90 minutes smurf all else matters. A goal is an orgasm. Who gives a smurf if some tall black fella puts a ball through a hoop? What's the score?107-109? Wow difficult . Or baseball, the single dullest sport created by any human being on the planet. Or American Football, AKA Rugby For Pussies. "Yea the hits are harder in american football", that's because you wear helmets & more padding than a flat chested teenager trying to get looked at by the fella that she'll never get. It's the only sport where a severely obese man can get called an 'athlete' & no one laughs. The only person with any skill is the triggerman the rest are either WALLS OF FAT or the can run REALLY FAST.


    See how you can dumb down any sport you want?

  6. #21
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    So, 11 guys all having different jobs battling with 11 other guys trying every way they can to stop them take no skill technique or passion? Your point are about as worthless as ours you guys just seem to get butt hurt whenever we say soccer sucks. I could care less what the rest of the world likes hell, I actually prefer just the US plays our football. and I would like to see you out run some of these obese people who apparently posses no athletic talent yet can run faster in a dash at 300+ lbs than most people on this site could ever dream of.
    And, if you want to talk about a game that actually resembles Chess well that would be American football. all f the pieces move in deferent ways and need each other to work. 1 idiot play can ruin a entire game or in some cases a season. That is why I feel it's the best sport int he world. You have 16 games to show you're the best if you smurf up one game at the end of the season your season very well could be over.

  7. #22
    Nobody's Hero Cuchulainn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bert View Post
    So, 11 guys all having different jobs battling with 11 other guys trying every way they can to stop them take no skill technique or passion? Your point are about as worthless as ours you guys just seem to get butt hurt whenever we say soccer sucks. I could care less what the rest of the world likes hell, I actually prefer just the US plays our football.
    My point was SUPPOSED to be as worthless as yours...Jesus that flew right over your cranium.

    And yes, I'm sure you are glad no one else plays your pussy version of rugby because the moment a sport of yours does get played outside the US with any degree of severity, your boys get slaughtered.

  8. #23
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    Baseball, for example. A turn-based sport. It's a goddamn TURN-BASED SPORT.



  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bert View Post
    you guys just seem to get butt hurt whenever we say soccer sucks.
    I dispute your allegation, and indeed wish to make a similar accusation about your own selves. Namely, that because you acknowledge football is far superior to your own sports, and in turn because of this you must seek down every thread that hints at its existence and have a good old cry about it therein, that in fact it is you who has the butt that hurts.

    tl;dr? your yankee tears fuel my erection.

  10. #25
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    Even I'm not butthurt.

    Go cry home, you man-grappler pansies.



  11. #26
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    It's not that I must hunt down every thread about it but come on you I say how your sport sucks and you guys go for personal insults I just can't help myself
    And cuch it didn't go over my head i just hadn't read your reply fully yet when I started replying

  12. #27
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    tbf, I don't think anybody is actually legitimately butthurt or gives a either way. It's just good-natured transatlantic banter.

  13. #28
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    Americans do get wound up when you point out how ty their sports are (I actually think all sports are complete except for curling), but it is NOTHING compared to how upset Europeans and South Americans get if you dare to blaspheme against soccer. I make a point of deliberately and repeatedly calling it soccer solely and exclusively to wind people up, because it is absolutely hilarious how buttmad everyone gets.

    Edit: Oh smurf you Pawl coming in here with your reasonable post and "it's all fun and games" making mine look bad

  14. #29
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    I agree whole heartedly. Mainly I post in these threads for lulz.
    wait I post everyone on eoff for lulz
    and, I love how Cuch gets so pissed

    There are ignorant assholes everywhere who like just about everything so I'm sure there's people arguing over Roses vs Violets somewhere in the damn world.

  15. #30

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    I love this thread almost as much as I love soccer.

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