After reading some discussion in the forums, I was reminded of an article I read in Anthropology last year. Have a read!

The most overtly homosexual Nacirema rituals occur following ceremonial events. In this particular athletic contest, the contestants dress in gladiatorial costumes that exaggerate masculine musculature in the shoulders and thighs, while ensuring that any observer can view the entire buttocks without obstruction. Armored helmets conceal their faces. This is no doubt to enable them to engage in overtly homoerotic behaviour anonymously, as adult homosexuals among the Nacrimea often do.

The object of the contest, is to penetrate the opponents special area, while preventing the opponent from penetrating one’s own special area. This helps explain the ‘bottompatting’ that is often observed among the warriors. A good offensive or defensive movement deserves a pat on the rear end. The recipient has held up his end and has thereby helped protect the collective “end” of the entire team. One pats one’s teammates’ ends, but one seeks to violate the end of one’s opponents!

In one particularly homoerotic display, the largest of the men make themselves vulnerable to anal penetration by their fellow warriors, facing their opponents. The largest and heaviest men bend over into an untenable stooped position, leaning forward so far (to expose their buttocks to their teammates) that they need to rest their heavy frame on one hand as well. This three-point stance is simultaneously more impervious to one’s opponents and exceptionally vulnerable to one’s trusted teammates.

When arrayed for competition, the most handsome of these warriors is required to place his hands on the buttocks of the largest and least mobile of the other combatants. He recites a ceremonial incantation as he moves his hands rhythmically. The larger man does not move, nor does he indicate sexual gratification from this simulation of masturbation. At a specified point, he passes the sacred object through his legs, and the handsome warrior either gives it away to another combatant, or he throws it in the air. Regardless, as soon as the initial homosexual rubbing is over and the object is passed, all the combatants in both colored costumes fall on top of each other, grabbing each other’s bodies, until they lie together in a big undulating pile.
This is sort of my response to the wonderful thread Jessweeee♪ created, but at the same time I thought it an interesting article on the hilarious ways that things can be interpreted from a different point of view


-- I did edit the article a little, but you can find the whole thing here.