My 18th? Oh dude that was pretty smurfing funny, we pieced most of the events together through the stories told us from the non-drunk people and also through the photos of it. It was kinda like the film The Hangover. I'm not kidding in that regard.

First up gotta remember I've been drinking alcohol since I was what? 14? Something like that. So the whole binge drinking thing is kinda old hat here. My mom figured letting me have the occasional drink growing up would stop me from being a pisshead when I turned 18 because I'd have done it all before. It didn't work, I was still a pisshead, in fact I still am a pisshead to a degree though I know how to control it more.

Well my 18th my friends organised a surprise party for me, one of epic surprise. In fact their plan to get me there was a random encounter with a guy who I was friends with but not too close friends with who was heading over to my friends house for a "quiet drink" and "hanging out" who basically said "Hey, you may as well come, I mean you know them too. Sure you'd be welcome it's nothing too special" Somehow he convinced me to go with him there, which was fine as soon as I got off the bus at their end I was greeted by around 20 of my friends carrying beer/cider cases yelling "surprise mother smurfer!" at me. From there on in it gets a little foggy/reconstructed.

Next morning I woke up on my mates sofa a blanket thrown over me nearly butt naked with one of my friends girlfriends curled up on to me butt naked. I was awoken by my college tutor calling me (apparently she was in the know) and wishing me happy birthday my response to her was "I feel old!" I think it was the major hangover talking since now nearly 8 years later, I still don't feel old. I then queried the girl next to me (more talking to myself like "what, why, why is she here and naked?" kind of deal) to which my tutor was like "I'm guessing you're either a) still drunk b) still drunk or c) still drunk and hungover at the same time. Don't worry, I'll collect the class notes for you and give you them over, I'll see you Thursday. Happy birthday, once again!" My tutor rocked, she understood perfectly.

Events what happened:

First up there was copious alcohol, not even going to lie the amount of alcohol was disproportionate to the number of people drinking. I drank a ton, we know I got through at least 1 24 can case of beer alone, that I drank half a case worth of cider or there abouts (some 8 - 12 cans!) and then ended up on wine and spirits too!

For the early part of the evening I ended up sitting in my mates garden drinking with the girl I woke up next to, Lauren. Now Lauren was dating one of my friends but as it turned out, he wanted to get rid of her and wanted a reason to dump her. In knowing my tastes and knowing she would like me he deliberately brought her to my birthday party so she would end up cheating with me (to ensure this happened he sneaked off halfway through the party and left xD Sly bastard) She ended up "stranded" because he had left and she lived pretty far away but wasn't too bothered because she was chatting to me (I say chatting but by all accounts and pictures of the event we were more likely to have been making out) So that explained the naked girl, we ended up going out for a couple of weeks whereby we met up every couple of days, got wrecked and slept together or just skipped the alcohol and got messy, then I grew bored of her...dick move I know. Thankfully I have grown up some in that regard.

Second up, the guy who managed to get me to go to my own party, he puked a lot. Funny because he always used to go on about how he could out-drink me. The half case or so of cider I knocked back? Was what had been brought for him. He managed 12 or so cans of cider and couldn't take anything else.

At one point in the evening we decided that playing tequila shot poker wasn't enough. So we introduced the stripping rules to it too. Tequila Shot-Strip Poker is amazing so long as there are enough girls involved. However considering we did not have any shot glasses, we had to make do. We ended up with Egg Cups. For reference an Egg Cup holds around a triple measure. We also had no salt or lemon to make these in to slammers, someone thought it would be a good idea to use Lemonade instead since there is salt and lemon and sugar lots of sugar in there. I recall at one point (mostly through the recounting of this and a small short video of me) losing 5 hands in a row, guess it turns out I can't play poker at all when wrecked. I was wearing about 3 items of clothing at the time. Under Strip rules I had to put on, the items of women clothing that had been taken off once I ended up butt naked, it would appear that after the game I never got to get fully dressed again. There was also a funny story of me apparently after around 4 egg-cups of Tequila saying "holy smurf I feel like I wanna hurl why is there no salt or lemon?" at which point one of the guys went and got a soup bowl and was like "Here ya go" we never worked out why in his head the soup bowl would suffice for a guy who wanted to throw up but it was the sweetest funniest thing all night.

After the game of poker, most of the people had either left or were passed out in various locations, including the garden the guy who passed out outside, was hilarious in the morning, there was apparently enough dew for the slugs and snails to find his face fun to slide over. I still cringe thinking of that.

I still couldn't tell you all of the events of that evening, I mean I don't remember a whole lot of it and unfortunately because of the fact that most of those people present were in fact massive pricks (as it was revealed about a year or 2 later) I'm no longer in contact with any of them, still as far as 18th parties go...mine was pretty smurfing awesome.