2011-2012 English Football Season and STEWART DOWNING WHAT ON EARTH Thread

[charliepanayi]

BBC Sport - BBC Sport asks 'Who are the champions?'

God knows what Mark Bright was thinking.

[Psychotic]

I think there's been at least one, if not more, pundit per year who has predicted Liverpool to win the league ever since the early 90's. I stopped getting my young hopes up about 10 years ago, apart from a brief period 3-4 years ago

[Loony BoB]

Let the conspiracy theories begin: Barton did it because he wanted City to win the title!

But seriously, yes, Tevez did make the first move, but you won't get the red unless your opponent screams agony. Barton didn't know this, apparently, but Tevez did. Doesn't excuse Barton one little bit - what a moron. I have no idea what went through his mind. Still, didn't matter that much, I don't think Joey would have made a major difference to how QPR were playing. They still would have been liable to a header at the last minute.

I'd kind of preferred it if City had just thrashed QPR from the start, to be honest! But even when the United whistle had gone, I just felt like the City goal was going to come because once they equalised, the determination (and the talent) was obviously there to get the final goal.

Time for the silly season now! Will be interesting to see if City continue spending big or if they sell many of their bigger players now that they have to consider balancing out the cash for FFP. They spent only £10m more than United did last season, but I expect their wages are through the roof, and at the moment their income is still supposedly at the level of Spurs. By the time FFP kicks in, I'm guessing that United will be able to once again compete with City in the market. Hoping!

[Old Manus]

So, with another season over, let's review some of the highs and lows of the Football Thread with Old Manus' Official EoFF Quotes of the Season (SPOILER)With Budweiser^TM

Mind you, he's [Fernando Torres] had a Summer to rest and sadly, I expect him to flourish next season.

Scholes was a once in a lifetime player, but we can't just expect for another talent like him to come through the ranks.

If there is one thing I never am confident about, it's Manchester United winning a Manchester derby.

I really think no European football will help them [Liverpool] focus much better against the lesser teams, which has been their biggest issue the last few years

Relegated: Newcastle

Once I was hit in the groin/vulva by a soccer ball when we were playing in high school. But I made the block.

Mertesacker is a good player

7th is the best I'm realistically hoping for for Everton.

[After drawing 0-0 at home to Swansea] We're going to come 7th!

I have to say, as a long term Spurs fan

When I saw the picture Old Manus posted I hadn't read the post and just saw the picture at a glance, and immediately assumed it was like, a picture of a Swansea game on TV that he'd gone to and been caught on camera in the crowd and I was looking for a welsh guy that looked like Bez from the Happy Mondays, and it took me a while to realise what was actually going on. I kind of thought he was the gimpy looking dude with the fur hood on but something didn't seem quite right. And now I know why.

[Aimed at Cuchulainn] ps: at least liverpool are from my country's league

Liverpool will easily finish above Spurs. It took them until the last couple of games to do it last season, and you have to bear in mind we had a face-rubbing lunatic and an emo spaniard for half of it. I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE we will finish ahead of Spurs. If we do not, I will willingly put on a Harry Redknapp (or Gerry Francis!) avatar for a month afterwards!

And finally, I just want to say how proud I am of the Swans this season. If someone offered me 17th on goals scored at the start of the season I would have bitten their arm off. Instead we stuck to the football that got us promoted, and it paid off, we ended up as the top ranked promoted team in 11th (missing out on 10th on...goals scored), with a bunch of players who'd never played Premier League football before. A season I'll never forget even if we go down next year.

[Psychotic]

hey you can't use posts from me from before we signed stewart downing

[Loony BoB]

What's that, 'arry?

[Cuchulainn]

hey you can't use posts from me from before we signed stewart downing

If, as suspected by the press, King Kenny is in the process of getting sacked I'm putting it down as a downing assist.

[Psychotic]

Well the press will always hate Dalglish given his... friendly... attitude to them so I take anything they say with a pinch of salt. On the subject of that, it has been a pretty woeful season but my view is that given all the man has done for the club, he should be given another season. He's earned that. I'd be disappointed if he was fired. If I were him though, I would give resignation some serious thought. As long as he accepts responsibility for being worse than Graeme Souness and believes he can take the club forward, he has my backing.

Also, no to Martinez please. Look, I like the bloke, I do. But hiring a man on the back of successfully avoiding relegation a couple of times is not the standard required for the aims of the football club. It's like hiring Roy Hodgson all over again. Midtable manager who was the "in thing" and well, yeah. I know Roy is the in thing again but make no mistake about it, he was a smurfing disaster and definitely worse than Kenny. If you aim to stay midtable, yeah, alright, go hog wild, but the owners have made it very clear the goal is Champions League football again. Capello, that bloke who was at Valencia or even AVB are the targets I'd prefer us to be looking at, if anyone.

[Cuchulainn]

First off, Kenny doesn't HAVE to be press friendly. It's not in his job description. The press are parasites, and that does not exclude the s that do the post match interviews. They know exactly what they're doing, asking annoying questions when emotions are still high. That's why Fergie doesn't give interviews if he's angry anymore. Too many touchline bans. However, it really does pay not to piss of every smurfing interviewer by being a short tempeted moody cow literally EVERY time you're interviewed. It really helps your position to be on friendly terms with at least SOME of them.

Secondly I don't care how much he's revered at Liverpool if he was literally ANYONE else in the world he'd of been sacked by now. I can't remeber Liverpool being this poor, maybe the last time was the Evans era. Not to mention how he handled the Suarez incident. He needs to go for his sake as well as livepools. I agree with you Liverpool do not need an all out attacking coach like Martinez. Not yet. Their squad isn't one that's favourable to that style of play. I think they need to go abroad for a coach. Nothing i England is good enough really.

However as a United fan of many many years I can honestly say I wouldn't mind them not sacking Kenny. One fierce rival being better than us is bad enough, we don't need another tyvm

[Rocket Edge]

That moment when Aguero scored it was like someone ripping my stomach out.

We will never see an end to a season more dramatic than that. It was incredible. They deserved to be champions, but like always United will be back next season. I am interested to see how City do in Europe next year. I could see that team give anyone problems. Now onto the silly part of the year. Will Hazard go to Man U or City? I really like him as a player, I'm hjoping the red half.

[Psychotic]

I agree with most of what you said Cuch, although to be honest I wouldn't hope any manager would be fired after that. We'll have had four managers in four years if Kenny is replaced, and that's bordering dangerously into Chelsea territory. I don't like the "What do we want? INSTANT SUCCESS! When do we want it? NOW!" culture that has crept into modern football.

I suppose another aspect depends on how much of your club's identity you're willing to sacrifice to bring success. Do I support Liverpool, or do I support the idea of winning trophies? I don't doubt the club would be more successful if we left Anfield for a 70,000+ or whatever sized stadium, but would it still be LFC? Is treating a club legend like dirt really worth it? I genuinely don't know how I feel on the matter. I'm a weird Liverpool fan in that I didn't grow up with us spanking the league left right and centre for 20 years. I'm used to the failures and the oh-so-nears and the next year will be our years. I really want to win the title one day but then what's another 20 years of mediocrity?

Also the Evans years weren't too bad you know! Compared to the Souness years at least...

[Loony BoB]

Will Hazard go to Man U or City? I really like him as a player, I'm hjoping the red half.

From my understanding, it's almost a certainty that he will be going to City. Yet I do find it strange that Mancini is wanting the owners to continue to spend a lot of money. He's already significantly in the red when it comes to UEFA Financial Fair Play. Does he want the club to be banned from Europe? Or is he betting on UEFA not making such punishments until much later on?

I think we'll get Kagawa, a fullback and perhaps another player or two.

[Rocket Edge]

According to Lille TV he was reported as saying 'You'll never see me in the red of Lille again. It will be another red next season'. Don't know if it's true or not. Hard to turn down City though when they will offer you anything you want on a platter.

[Loony BoB]

There are a lot of rumours running around about what colour he said he will wear next season. "It's the blue that I'll be wearing next season. Definitely the blue." is one quote that is often thrown about. What was actually said in that interview? Apparently (although who knows, maybe this, too, is fabrication!) he was asked what colour he prefers out of blue and red, and he said - referring to Lille - "The stand is blue and my kit is red. I like both." Another answer is apparently ""I like both. They're both nice colours. I think they both suit me."

I mean, how many quotes can you get out of one question? Insane. And is there any actual recording on air or statement in a magazine? Nothing I've seen. Only thing I've found is a YouTube link and I can't check it at work.

Whatever he said, I still reckon he'll go to City. I think he's a great player but uncomfirmed at the highest level, so yeah... I would like to see how he would do in our shirt, but at the same time I'm not going to drop my head in despair if he goes elsewhere.

[Psychotic]

Goalkeepers: Joe Hart (Man City), Rob Green (West Ham), John Ruddy (Norwich)

Defenders: Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Phil Jones (Man United), John Terry (Chelsea), Joleon Lescott (Man City), Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Leighton Baines (Everton)

Midfielders: Theo Walcott (Arsenal), Stewart Downing (Liverpool), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Arsenal), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Gareth Barry (Man City), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Scott Parker (Tottenham), Ashley Young (Man United), James Milner (Man City)

Forwards: Wayne Rooney (Man United), Danny Welbeck (Man United), Andy Carroll (Liverpool), Jermain Defoe (Tottenham)

STEWART DOWNING IS IN ENGLAND'S EURO 2012 SQUAD

OH MY GOD

Glen Johnson and Phil pissing Jones ahead of Micah Richards

Oxlade smurfing Chamberlain. Theo Walcott.

JERMAINE PISSING DEFOE

Oh sure let's pick Frank Lampard and a god damn crippled Stevie G but no sight of Michael Carrick what the smurf he is literally england's best CM right now.

John Terry! JOHN GOD DAMN TERRY

well you guys

well well well

I said Roy Hodgson was a bag of arse cakes Stewart. Downing.

on the plus side at least big andy is going

edit:

Birmingham keeper Jack Butland is among the list of five standby players, which also includes Manchester City winger Adam Johnson, Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge, Everton defender Phil Jagielka and Liverpool midfielder Jordan Henderson.

are you smurfing serious

smurfing smurf jordan henderson what the living smurf. There is no room for michael carrick or micah richards even in the standbys? Jesus christ roy. Downing ahead of Johnson, Defoe ahead of Sturridge, Terry ahead of Jagielka, smurfing hell.